Saturday, October 15, 2005
With Halloween closely approaching, I thought I’d know off two birds with one stone and have a lyrics quiz where all the song titles doubling as suggestions for costumes to wear this Halloween. As always, leave your guesses, artist and title, in the comment section and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. The person with the most points will be added to the winners list on my sidebar. Keep in mind all answer would make good Halloween costumes.
1. An invisible man sleeping in your bed. (Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jr. guessed bu Jodie)
2. I think of all the education that I missed, but then my homework was never quite like this. (Hot for Teacher - Van Halen guessed by Christopher)
3. Everywhere you turn there’s vultures and thieves at your back. (Angel - Sarah McLachlan guessed by Kristen)
4. I was just guessing at numbers and figures pulling the puzzles apart. (The Scientist - Coldplay guessed by Kristen)
5. Now I’m not trying to floss, but murder was the case that they lost. (Doggfather - Snoop Doggy Dogg guessed by Dane Bramage)
6. Albert fallen on the sun, cracked his head wide open. (Einstein on the Beach (For a Eggman) – Counting Crows guessed by Cmmdtp)
7. If you want to call me baby, just go ahead now. (Two Princes - Spin Doctors guessed by Kristen)
8. In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. (Theme to the A-Team guessed by Angie)
9. Annie are you okay, are you okay Annie? (Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson guessed by Gina)
10. Cat Stevens was the greatest singer. (King of New Orleans - Better Than Ezra guessed by Dorna)
11. Hey happy, I’m feeling glad, I got sunshine in a bag, I’m useless but not for long, the future is coming on. (Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz guessed by Kristen)
12. She was spose to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money. She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money. She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money. (Gold Digger - Kanye West & Jamie Foxx guessed by Kristen)
13. On a canapé my stamina be enough for Pamela Anderson Lee. (Big Pimpin' - Jay-Z guessed by Kristen)
14. I’m not a martyr, I’m not a prophet, I won’t preach to you, but here’s a caution. (Cochise - Audioslave guessed by Dane Bramage)
15. If I finish all my chores and you finish thyne, then tonight we’re gonna party like it 1699. (Amish Paradise - "Weird Al" Yankovic guessed by Aden)
16. I’m the kinda G the little homies wanna be like on my knees in the night saying prayers in the street lights. (Gansta's Paradise - Coolio guessed by Gina)
17. I ain’t no G, I just a regular failure, I’m not straight outta Compton; I’m straight out the trailer. (Cowboy - Kid Rock guessed by Aden)
18. Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win but the battle wages on. (Toy Soldiers - Martika guessed by Gina)
19. What’s with these homies dissing my girl, why do they gotta front? (Buddy Holly - Weezer guessed by Kristen)
20. I’m only a man in a silly red sheet. (Superman (It's Not Easy) - Five for Fighting guessed by Cmmdtp)
21. 103 is forever when you’re just a little kid so Cyrus Jones lived forever. (Gravedigger - Dave Matthews guessed by Jodie)
22. He was a punk; she did ballet, what more can I say. (Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne guessed by Gina)
23. Jesus freaks out in the street, handing tickets out for God. (Tiny Dancer - Elton John guessed by Kristen)
24. He has a funky walk his western shirts and leather, always look so boss. (Macho Man - The Village People guessed by Cmmdtp)
25. Well I dreamt one morning and I woke up to see all the pepperoni pizza was a looking at me. (Lunchlady Land - Adam Sandler guessed by Jodie)
This months winner is Kristen, be sure to check out November 15 for the next lyrics quiz.
Friday, October 14, 2005
There is nothing like going 3-4 in the playoffs with your last two at bats resulting in home runs, including a walk off home run to end a series, to get you in the starting lineup. So Chris Burke didn’t quite hit a home run in his first at bat against the Cardinals last night, but a triple would suffice. But thing did really look good with two outs the Cards intentionally walk Ausmus to get to the pitcher Oswalt. So manager, Phil Garner did something that no one expected, he sent the catcher on a steal attempt against one of the best pick-off combination of Mark Mulder and Yadier Molina. And it worked as it caught Molina so off guard that Molina forgot to catch the ball allowing Burke to score on the pass ball. Brilliant. All of the attention has been on Oswalt’s pitching, but if (I mean when) the Astros win the series; this is the play to look back on as the defining play of the series.
And Burke didn’t stop there. With the game still in reach and Berkman on third, the newest Killer B made the very first hit of the series for the Astros with runners in scoring position (they were 0-14) giving the team a cushion and then padded it a little more when he scored on an Adam Everett triple. So for those keeping track at home, Burke’s line in the playoffs so for reads as:
Who needs Carlos Beltran? Hopefully Phil Garner keeps this kid in the lineup for the rest of the series because he has been money so far this postseason, well aside from his little mistake in what should have been a routine fly ball last night. But that misstep didn’t hurt the team in the end. And with the series tied up, it now becomes a best of five with the Astros with home field advantage. And in those five games you have potentially have Clemens going twice and Pettitte and Oswalt getting a start each. Oh and the other starter just happened to Brandon Backe who blanked the Cards in the postseason last year. And you also have Brad Lidge who can come in as early as the seventh and the Cards are currently 5-101 against Lidge for the last two years and has never given up a run in the playoffs. I really like the ‘Stros to make their first World Series ever.
As for the other series the big new is the umpire’s call in game 2. I fully support the umpire on “the call” and if Angel fan need someone to blame they need to look at the catcher. Every time I watch the game and there is a swinging third strike below the knees, the catcher always tags the batter even if it came nowhere near the ground as it was second nature and when the Angel’s catcher didn’t do this it just shows why he’s the third string catcher on the team.
As for the umpire’s mechanics, as an athlete I was always told to play until you hear a whistle and this is exactly why A.J. Pierzynski’s team won, he didn’t hear out so he kept playing, the catcher assumed the play was over so he stop playing and he team ended up losing. And there I no way the umpire is going to change his mind after the play. As a former umpire myself (granted I did beer league softball games where every ball is in the dirt) we had two rules 1) you are never wrong even when you know you are. Whenever I knew I was wrong after a play, I would never admit it, instead I would get a second opinion from other ump and hope he would reverse the call. 2) Try to make the game end early as possible. As an ump, we tend to get paid by the game no matter how long it goes so I sure that was in the back of the ump’s mind knowing an out call makes it go to extra inning and with an 18 inning marathon in recent memory, I doubt Blue wanted that to happen again.
Now with the controversy, there was been talk of instant replay. This is the worst idea to end all bad ideas. The great thing about sports is the human error. It was drive male conversation the next day, case in point, the latest controversy. Look how much debate that play has brought. Now if there was instant replay in baseball that is much like that in football, the play would have ended up standing due to inconclusive results. Then no one would be talking about the game at all the next day.
Even worse is when these machines screw up. I remember a couple years ago, late in the game, the Browns were driving down the field needing a touchdown to beat the Titans ion a must win foe the Browns to keep their playoff hopes alive. On fourth down, Northcutt made a catch inside the ten afterwards the Browns hurried to the line to spike the ball and stop the clock because there were out of time outs. After the Brown spiked the ball, the refs announced that they were going back and reviewing the previous catch by Northcutt even though in the rules state a play cannot be reviewed after the next play has been ran. But the ref blamed a mistake by the computer and overturned the Northcutt play and since that play was on fourth down the Titans got the ball and the game essentially was over and so were the Browns playoff hopes. And in true Browns fashion, beer bottles were thrown onto the field and the incident is the reason the NFL no longer sell beer bottles at the game. So to all the pro-instant replay fanatics out there, the computers can be wrong too and if something goes wrong, I would much rather blame human error than a computer one.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Week three of Lost vs. Veronica Mars although I must admit I didn’t watch either as I was watching another match up - Astros vs. Cardinals. Unfortunately the bad guys won and I totally blame the chick who called at the exact same time as Reggie Sanders hit his homerun. Needless to say that turned out to be a bad conversation (note to self: unplug the phone tonight). So I had to spend all day avoiding any kind of discussion of either shows as not to ruin anything. Luckily I made it through the day without anything majored being revealed. So onto this week’s showdown (and for those that missed the first season of Veronica Mars, it came out on DVD this week so make sure you buy it, rent it, borrow it, steal it, whatever, just get your hands on a copy):
Last Week’s Preview (Redux)
Lost: A big let down as it turned out that Jin speaking English was only a dream. And while I’m on the subject, who can Hurley dream in Korean if he can’t speak it?
Veronica Mars: At the end of the show Veronica still thinks she is the reason the bus crashed (I’m still skeptical). Winner: Veronica Mars
Lost: Claire finds a Message in a Bottle (I guess she’s not alone at being alone).
Veronica Mars: The answer is still no; Veronica won’t go to prom with Sheriff Lamb.
Lost: Evil lawyer Gavin Park turns out to only speak Korean is joined by evil law firm boss who turned out to be Rose’s very white husband.
Veronica Mars: High Being Cordelia reverts back to her Sunnydale ways and will soon be joined by the gas pumping creator of Angel.
Lost – There was an extended montage of Hurley passing out food.
Veronica Mars – Veronica passes by an extended karaoke version of Love Hurts.
Winner: Veronica Mars
Ability to Impress
Lost: Hurley passes out the food to everyone to keep on their good side only to backfire when everyone blames him that the food runs out early (okay, I’m only predicting the last part).
Veronica Mars: Beaver proves to his dad that his trophy wife is cheating on him only for the PI (Veronica) to also uncover he is screwing over his investors too. (I’m predicting that this was Kendall’s master plan to begin with.)
Winner: Veronica Mars
Alpha Male Beatdown
Lost: Sawyer gets a roundhouse right from the chick from Girlfight.
Veronica Mars: Logan gets pummeled for a veiled reference about Duncan’s love making skill.
Did You Notice?
Lost: Hurley’s boss at the Chicken place was Locke’s boss at the box company (I did).
Veronica Mars: The dude from the crash site was the same dude who washed up on the beach (I didn’t).
Lost: After being hit by Ana Lucia, Sawyer seems to be smitten by her which sets up the love quadrangle I predicted last season between them and Jack and Kate.
Veronica Mars: None although I hope that Meg comes out of her coma to hook up with Logan.
Lost: Hurley’s buddy was played by the uber-nerd from Road Trip.
Veronica Mars: Veronica impersonates Mr. Burns and Big Gay Al.
Winner: Veronica Mars
So Lost is the winner this week, nothing like a Hurley-centric episode for the show to get back on track. On for all you lost fans be sure to check out: http://www.thehansofoundation.org/ then check out https://www.thehansofoundation.org/ then please leave a comment in the comment section and tell me what exactly these are and what is with the licenses.
Lost: We may get to learn more about the Others.
Veronica Mars: Apparently Veronica will overlook that she may have caused the bus crash to take on a new case.
Early Winner: Lost
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
The latest installment of The Surreal Life has finally ended and I am convinced that between that and E!’s Kill Reality that we a closing in to the very first reality fatality. The only question is if it will be manslaughter or an overdose, granted Ruthie came very close to it a few years back in the Hawaii version of The Real World. And faster than the last cast could slap lawsuits on each other, a new batch of surreal lifers have been named. Can any of the newbies beat a coked out Janice or the top 10 greatest TV moment of Mini Me peeing in a corner naked two season’s ago. Here are the has-beens that will try:
Sherman Helmsley is best known as George Jefferson. I’m a huge fan of Helmsley and am still mad at BET for no longer carrying that and his other television classic Amen. As the lone African-American, one can only hope the word “cracker” is uttered by him at least five times an episode. He will be playing the role of token washed up actor (Emmanuel Lewis, Erik Estrada, Dave Coulier, Christopher Knight, Bronson Pinchot).
Steve Harwell is responsible for forever having songs like All-Star and Walkin' on the Sun forever burned on our brain. He will be playing the role as the token washed up singer (Vince Neil, Jordan Knight)
CC DeVille is the coked up guitarist for Poison and if anyone saw the Behind the Music for the band can tell that CC is clinically insane which is perfect for The Surreal Life. He will be playing the role of the token insane person (Corey Feldman, Ron Jeremy, Brigitte Nielsen, Joanie Laurer, Janice Dickenson).
Tawny Kitaen, for anyone who grew up in the 80’s was best known for being the hot hood ornament in the Whitesnake video. For people who grew up in the 90’s will remember as the ugly chick that beat up Indians pitcher Chuck Findley with her shoe. Dare I say she will be the token mother figure (Gabrielle Carteris, Tammy Faye Bakker, Charo, Jane Wiedlin)
Andrea Lowell is billed as “Playboy TV’s” so she basically is the token hot chick with no resume (Brande Roderick, Traci Bingham, Marcus Schenkenberg, Caprice Bourret)
But the highlight of the season will be the house member that defies any classification, Alexis Arquette. (S)he is the cross-dressing brother/sister to David, Rosanna and Patricia. I’m fully expecting a Mimi-Me moment out of him/her.
There is another guest the VH1 is hyping as a mystery hunk to be chosen from a pool of reality shows to fill up the token reality star and my sources say it will be Mavin of the MTV/WWE reality show, Tough Enough. Apperently he wasn’t as he recently got cut by the wrestling company. Whoever I is will be following in the steps of Jerri Manthey, Trishelle Cannatella, Ryan Starr, Adrianne Curry, and Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth.
And it seems like VH1 likes to make reality shows from former surreal lifer (Strange Love, My Fair Brady) one can only hope they follow Jancie and Omarosa into the court room. For this cast I see Alexis in a Crying Game type show with CC not realizing (s)he’s a dude. I am a little disappointed that the producers didn’t choose any of the has-beens that I suggested last time, so here again are my suggestions for the next cast of the Surreal Life (feel free to leave your fantasy cast in the comments section):
Token washed up actor - The dude not named Paul Reiser on My Two Dads
Token hot chick with no resume - The Playmate of the Year that was arrested for fighting over Jeff Garcia
Token mother figure - Suzanne Somers
Token insane person - The other Corey, Corey Haim
Token reality star - Tonya from Real World, Kill Reality
Token rapper - Mr. I Wish, Skee-Lo
Token washed up musician - Hootie, which would be the next logical step from the Burger King ad
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Last year, Jamie Cullum released a jazzy album, Twentysomething, which was very reminiscent of a male version of Norah Jones but with a little more of an edge. Well that and less album sales and Grammys. And to take the comparison a little further, Jones went on to collaborate with Outkast while Cullum’s latest album, Catching Tales was produced by Pharrell of the Neptunes. Coincidently, Cullum, covered Pharrell’s Frontin' on his last album.
Pharrell’s influence isn’t evident in the beats as Catching Tales is still piano heavy just like Cullum’s previous outing, but the pianist does seem have more of a swagger this time around especially on the album opener, Get Your Way, a breezy song highlighted by a horn section straight out of the bag band era. The closest the album comes to a hip-hop beat is an acoustic riff on the last song, My Yard that closely resembles an Usher song.
The stand out tracks on his last album were the eclectic cover song like the previous mentioned Frontin' along with Radiohead’s High and Dry and Jimi Hendrix’s The Wind Cries Mary all arranged to fit Cullum’s jazzy background. There are a few more covers on this album starting with the old Flamingo’s classic, I Only Have Eyes for You which doesn’t sound quite right without the “Sho-wop, sho-wop’s.” Cullum also take a stab at a sadly overlooked gem, Catch the Sun by the Doves, which Cullum does a little better at, but you still should check the original sometimes.
Even though Cullum usually does a very good job at covering other artist song, he does a good job creating his own songs. Keeping with the cocksure he seemed to inherit from Pharrell, there’s also Nothing I Do. The song is about not being able to impress that one special girl but that doesn’t stop you from trying. The best part of the song is the line, “Yesterday I called you back and you called me a stupid twat.” Excuse me for going into Butthead mode, but, “Ha, ha, he said ‘twat.’” He even has the gall to end the song with a whistle solo yet somehow still making it sound cool.
Song to Download – Get Your Way
Catching Tales gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Ashlee Simpson’s take 2 on Saturday Night Live has come and gone and for some reason, I felt inclined to watch it yet again. Yeah she actually sang, but that’s not necessarily a good thing for her. I also love the new keyboardist who has been added to her band after her tone deaf performance during the Orange Bowl last year singing every single word along with her. After Saturdays poor performance I wouldn’t be surprised it the make the keyboardist a little louder on her next live performance. And even though she didn’t pull out the jig again she still performs like a contestant in a middle school talent show.
The sad thing is that the writers did nothing to poke fun at last year’s debacle at any time during the performance as if it never happened. Seriously the joke wrote itself and most likely would have been funnier than anything else on the show. The Kanye West and Mike Myers bit was the funniest part of the show last week, why not try it again? And herein lies the problem of this season of SNL – no Tina Fey. She has carried the show in recent years as the head writer and the best Weekend Update anchor since Norm McDonald. And with Fey and Maya Rudolf out with babies, why did they not bring in new females to the cast this year. Now we are stuck with a solid Amy Poehler and a not very funny Rachael Dratch to carry the load and sadly, I’m sure we’ll see a lot of Horatio Sanz in a dress this year. Speaking of the guy who break characters so much he makes Jimmy Fallon look professional, how did Sanz get to take Fey’s spot at the Update desk? I am now convinced that he has something over Loren Michaels. And surely it doesn’t help when you bring in hosts that simply are not funny like the dude from Napealon Dynamite. Then later they are bringing in Chatherine Zeta-Jones and Lance Armstrong, and so it won’t get much better.
But with all the trash talk of Ashlee, I do have a confession to make – I actually like the Boyfriend song. And it’s not like LaLa that was entertaining when hearing it sung by an old dude at karaoke kinda way either (you have not lived until you heard my version). When she continually yells “ha” just adds the cheese factor to the point it’s entertaining. And after going threw her ugly black hair period, she actually looked hot in the video too. Granted I have a theory only the most beautiful girls in the world can pull off dark hair yet just anyone can look hot with blonde. The quick editing hide her bad dancing and when she slaps her butt during her many “ha’s” makes me laugh every time. But the best part of the video is how anemic the drummer looks every time the camera is on as if he just came back from a lobotomy. You can almost hear his inner voice saying “This is what my career has come to – drumming for the least credible artist since Milli Vanilli.” Unfortunately, Ashlee when with the killed any buzz she gain by going blonde with the weird hair extensions she was sporting on SNL.
One quick baseball note, I mentioned yesterday that it looked like the Berkman grand slam and Burke walk off home run were hit in the same place and apparently I was right as the same guy caught both balls. Somebody better give that guy season tickets for life for coming up with both balls that should make their way to Cooperstown someday.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
I was planning on ripping Ashlee Simpson’s latest poor outing on Saturday Night Live, but I was sidetracked today by the six hour, eighteen inning playoff game between the Houston Astros and Atlanta Braves. After being down 6-1 in the bottom of the eighth, one of longtime killer B, Lance Berkman hit a grand slam into the Crawford Boxes to get within a run. Then in the bottom of the 9th, down to their last out, Brad Ausmus tied up the game with a home run that was so close to the yellow line, ever time they replayed it at regular speed, I couldn’t see it hit above it. Major props to the umpire that had the great eye to see it. Then after that score, there was essentially a second game play as the game went another nine innings after that. There were some close plays on both sides with Luke Scott coming within inches of a walk off homerun in the 10th and the Braves left them loaded in the 14th. In the end, the box score ended up looking like that of an all-star game with all the switches to the roster with all but one position player not getting into the game. The Astros even had four different players at first base and Eric Bruntlett coming in the eighth as a short shop only to move to center field the back to short only to end the game at center.
The ending finally came after Rodger Clemens coming in to pinch hit in the 15th and follow that up with three scoreless innings. Then in the bottom of the 18th, after Clemens struck out, the newest killer B, Chris Burke hit a ball into the Craford Boxes, almost exactly in the same place Berkman, who Burke pinch ran for way back in the 10th, ten innings earlier for the walk off home run. And just like that, the longest playoff game ever was over.
Now the Astros will travel to St. Louis to start that series on Wednesday. So much for Lost and Veronica Mars (hopefully it will be an early start and won’t go 18 innings). With Pettitte starting game one with Clemens and Oswalt to follow and in a possible seven game series, having those guys on the mound for most likely six of the games, I am very confident that the Astros can make it to the World Series this year. I really hope Carlos Beltran is having fun watching this from his multimillion dollar couch.