Saturday, June 06, 2015

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/6/15



Orphan Black: Finally, after weeks of boring and confusing mythology, we actually got back to what made the first season so good: clones interacting with and pretending to be each other. I still think there needs to be a Donnie and Allison crappy CBS spinoff sitcom. I may bring this up every weekend until I will it into existence
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: Well that was a dark montage at the end. And just when you thought it could not get any creepier, Dr. Frankenstein has sex with his creation? Ew. As for the previously mentioned montage, what is Sir Malcolm thinking? Ethan just told you to be on high alert. I would think a woman coming on to him at this very moment would be suspicious, but, c'mon Malcolm, she "accidentally" drew your blood with her ring. That might as well have been a tattoo on her forehead that reads, "I'm a witch!"
You can download Penny Dreadful on iTunes.

American Odyssey: When Bob told Harrison that he deeply cared for him I was taken about thinking that is a little strong thing to say, you might as well try to kiss him at this point. And then Bob leaned in. Oh my. I know this show is not very good, but what it lack in quality it certainly makes up for in entertainment value. And apparently Harrison was so shocked by the move and having someone's brain matter splattered on him he was stupid enough hook up with the person who was responsible for that brain matter. But hey, at least she is not a witch.
You can download American Odyssey on iTunes

Pretty Little Liars: I was kind of hoping we would get an entire season in the dollhouse. Probably not the smartest idea to set a fire when you are locked underground but again, these are not the smartest girls to ever be on television. At this point it would be out of character to do the smart thing.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Stitchers: Just last week I declared the chick from Aquarius to have the worst American accent put to film, but the lead on this show is pretty bad too. And what may be more annoying is the accent fluctuates constantly. Seriously casting agents either 1) let these actors use their normal accent; there is not reason the lead charterer here cannot be from Australian (okay, it would be a bit more of a stretch to have a rookie Australian cop back in the sixties; which begs the question, just how many hot Australian are there in Hollywood these days? Even Harley Quinn in the upcoming Suicide Squad is played by an Australian) or 2) just be xenophobic and cast an American.
You can download Stitchers on iTunes.

Aquarius: So having your kid run away is an aphrodisiac... who knew? As previously mention, the hot lady cop has the worst American accent put to film, but you know how to make her accent less distraction: make her howl. Wow. That was weird and random. But much like last week, the most interesting aspect of the show this week did not happen on screen but behind the scenes when the creator said there is an NC-17 version of the show floating around. He originally said it was the version on iTunes but that turned to be incorrect and revised to say it is coming soon. I did notice some kind of bad overdubs this week where they obviously replaced naughty words and once where they just completely cut out one of Mulder's words. I wonder if the edits are just auditory or if there are any missing scenes. Though I do not really need to see Charlie Manson bed Emma's dad.
You can download the full season (just the televised version as of now) of Aquarius on iTunes.

Hannibal: The show left us with three of the leads bleeding on the floor along with Abigail Hobbs. We will have to wait to find out their fates (though it is a bit of a spoiler that all three actors remain in the title sequence so Hobbs is the only one with a question mark). The show has always been a slow cooker, but with the hole episode devoted to Hannibal, it got kind of boring. Hopefully things get back on track when the people at the FBI (presumably) show back up next week.
You can download Hannibal on iTunes.

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