Monday, October 26, 2015

The Voice Season Nine Battle Round Power Rankings



I have long called Blake Shelton the best coach that has ever sat in a spinning chair. Sure he made the single worse decision ever in the history of The Voice (Holly Henry: never forget) but if I were to make a list of the twenty-five dumbest decisions every in the history of The Voice, that may be the only time he appears. I mostly agree with his decisions about ninety percent of the time. Not this season where I only agreed with him once of his five shown Battles (Blind Joe over Blaine).

I have long assumed Blake takes the March Madness bracket approach to Battle Round pairings (and Knockouts for that matter), seeding his team one through twelve and then paring one with twelve, two with eleven, and so on; weird and random pairings be darned; and then just picks the higher seeds no matter what. Which is probably why in the past his Battles ended up in montages rather than Steals.

I do not know what changed this time around where he seemed to pick the weaker singer more often but for the first time ever half his Battles ended in Steals (unfortunately my favorite on his team Krista did not get a reprieve from anyone) and only one got montaged (but when you pair a female soul singer with a male singer-songwriter type and have them sing Britney Spears, of course that is going to me montaged). Though it makes for some bad Battles, I wish Blake would go back to the March Madness brackets approach because I am not really liking his team very much this season unless he can get a gem of a Steal in the Knockouts.

1. Andi & Alex (Team Adam): I enjoyed their Blind Audition but feared they may turn into a novelty act, except they actually got better. And who actually remembered The Calling were once a thing. I give Adam a lot of crap (and deserved for pretty much the rest of his song choices this round) but he really did a great job pairing the duo with someone I thought was fodder and turn it into the best Battle of the season.

2. Ellie Lawrence (Team Gwen): Gwen was on a roll with her song selection this round. Sure three of them got montaged, one of them probably should have also, and I am not sure Sweater Weather is a very good choice if you have to cut it down to two minute. Ellie was decent, but she is still high on the list as her Blind Audition is still the best performance of the season.

3. Amy Vachal (Team Pharrell): It seems like more often than not, the coaches cleanly give a song that favors one singer over another (sorry dude who was forced to sing Regina Spektor), occasionally they can find songs that are suited for both singers. Then on the very rare occasion the coaches pick a song that does not really help either. Amy did fine in her part but overall this just reminded me of the good old days before Battle montages where the last two singers paired would have to Battle each other and sing the songs in completely different ways like Dia Frampton vs. Serabee or Erin Martin vs. The Shields Brothers (the greatest bad Battle ever in the history of the show). Amy was good when she was by herself but I am really surprised this was not montaged and even more surprised the song sold well. Because of that you kind of have to put Amy on the shortlist of front runners with Andi and Alex, Barrett, Ellie, and Jordan. Hey that is actually one per team and two for Adam. That probably means Adam will throw one of them under the bus and probably either Gwen or Pharrell will do something really stupid.

4. Korin Bukowski (Team Gwen): The biggest winner of the Battle Round. I found her Blind Audition too much (despite the awesome song choice) and Gwen apparently did such a poor job picking songs that suited her singers that half her Battles got montaged, but both really hit it out of the park on this one. Sure girls like this sadly never win, but as long as she keeps it simple and sweet, Korin could get as far as Caroline Pennell.

5. Siahna Im (Team Pharrell): Poor song choice but she did do the best she could do with it.

6. Madi Davis (Team Pharrell): I have long assumed performances get montaged because of one of two reasons: they were just bad, the coach made a horrible decision. Madi and Sydney were the lone montage victims to chart this round while Sydney's Blind Audition lingered around for most of the Battles. Clearly people were interested in the Battle, it charted so I wonder just what went wrong because there were some pretty dreadful or just boring Battle that were shown.I am just going to go with the assumption the montaged it because the other coaches did not Steal Sydney because she clearly resonated within her short time on the show.

7. Mark Hood (Team Pharrell): Another boring song choise by Pharrell but he did well, hopefully he can do something a little less dusty after two straight old soul classic

8. Morgan Frazier (Team Blake Pharrell): I have when coaches hem and haw about this is their hardest pairing and how they were stupid to put these two together when ninety percent of the time everyone at home knew who was going to win the moment the pairing was announced, but this definitely was one of the closest Battles ever. Though I disagree with Blake about going with who he can help the most, for me the tie-breaker should be who gave the better Blind Audition and that was Morgan. But at least she was Stolen by Pharrell. And of course all of Blake's hemming and hawing about this Battle will be moot if Blake just Steals Morgan back next round as the last two season's he has done just that with his Knockout Round Steal. Though Dustin or Blaine may be the better choice since having both Morgan and Emily Ann is like having the same singer. At any rate, I really hate when coaches Steal back contestants they just booted from their team.

9. Blind Joe (Team Blake): Considering his bad choices this season, Blake would take the more polished Blaine but I am glad he actually gave Blind Joe the nod because this bar band classic should not be polished.

10. Dustin Christensen (Team Blake Adam): Barrett closed out the first episode which I considered to be the pimpiest of pimp slots on the show, but I actually like Dustin much better on the show.

11. Blaine Mitchell (Team Blake Adam): Though I thought Blind Joe won, I did like how Blaine managedto work the stage for both of them.

12. Kota Wade (Team Gwen): Montage win... yawn.

13. Emily Ann Roberts (Team Blake): Meh.

14. Tim Atlas (Team Gwen Pharrell): He was okay for someone who was montaged during the Blind Auditions but Steal worthy? I do not know. But then again there really eight losers this season worthy of a Steal. So fine, Tim gets another round, but I would be surprised if he goes further.

15. Keith Semple (Team Adam): So is he supposed to be this season's Terry McDermot? Meh.

16. Barrett Baber (Team Blake): I have always assumed whoever gets to close out the first episode is whoever the producers think should win. I find Barrett mostly boring and wonder if he will suffer the similar fate of the only other time a country singer got that slot when James David Carter could not make it past the first week of voting.

17. Evan McKeel (Team Pharrell): Every season the producers seems to focus a lot on one singer that ended up bombing when people actually start voting (Kat from season five was the most glaring example) and I am beginning wonder if Evan is this season's version. They seem to spend a lot of time on him but his iTunes sales have been middle of the pack. That could just be the result of an obscure Mutemath song and a tired Stevie Wonder Battle, but Evan really needs a Knockout moment because if not he may bomb if he makes it to the Live Show.

18. Ivonne Acero (Team Pharrell Blake): One of the big loser of the Battle Rounds, the weak link of one of the worst Battles this season. But hey, Blake gave her a one week reprieve.

19. Shelby Brown (Team Adam): The other big loser of the round. Every nice thing I said about Adam picking The Calling I take back for giving two seventeen year old Edge of Seventeen. Oh my. I wonder if she is regretting not going with Blake right about now. She had one of the best selling Blind Auditions but almost got outsold in the Battle Round by a duo that was montaged.

20. Regina Love (Team Adam Gwen): Another wasted Steal but then again, no one really stands out as more deserving.

21. Riley Biederer (Team Pharrell Gwen): See above.

22. Jordan Smith (Team Adam): In the beginning there were a lot of weird people auditioning with voices you would not expect, now it has teen into J Crew teenage models after another. Jordan harkens back to those early days, but I find his voice to be too shill but as much as the promo spend on him (he is the only one we hear sing in the Knockout previews) he seems like the biggest lock to make the Live Show.

23. Viktor Király (Team Adam): Simular to Evan but I fear that he will be more like this season's Dez Duron, the mediocre singer with model's looks that goes three or four rounds further than his talent deserves because he appeals to the large bored housewife voting block.

24. James Dupré (Team Adam): A big storyline of the Blind Auditions was Adam managing to get two country singers over Blake. Then in the Battles, he gave them both rock songs that sold significantly less than their Blind Auditions on iTunes. Again, I wonder if James is regretting not going with Blake. But I actually believe Shelby could still make the Live Shows, James, not so much. Which would be Adam's third country artist he got instead of Blake that he then unloaded before the Live Shows.

25. Chris Crump (Team Blake): I would rather Krista had advanced.

26. Zach Seabaugh (Team Blake): Did Blake pick him solely on based on marketability because his vocals are not at all memorable.

27. Nadjah Nicole (Team Blake): Montage win... yawn.

28. Summer Schappell (Team Gwen): Montage win... yawn. And based on the studio version, I thought Hanna Ashbrook was significantly better, which maybe is why they montaged it, so Gwen did not look stupid. Actually is that why half of Gwen's Battles get montaged? Advancing Braiden was also stupid and her two Steals were head scratching at best.

29. Darius Scott (Team Pharrell): Montage win... yawn.

30. Jeffery Austin (Team Gwen): Montage win... yawn.

31. Chance Peña (Team Adam Blake): What a lucky kid, he is a teenager who gets paired with two hot twins who are so good, they made hm seem better than he actually like how Magic Johnson made all his teammates look better, and managed to get Blake to Steal him. But without the twins propping him out, I am guessing there will be no more Steals for him.

32. Braiden Sunshine (Team Gwen): I was never a fan of Lyndsey, but if Gwen was will to toss her lone four chair turn overboard for Braiden, I am really beginning to worry he may actually be this season's Ryan Sill (never forget).

So if you rank them by the team they are on, here is how each team stands up:

Pharrell: 175
Adam: 139
Gwen: 115
Blake: 99

Wow, so coming out of the Blind Audition, I had Blake as the strongest team, but now he is at the bottom. I rip on Gwen a lot, but she still has Ellie and a rising Korin, there is really no one worth caring about on Blake's team. He really does need to Steal someone in the Knockouts. But then again, who cares what I think, here is how high the Battle Round songs ranked on iTunes and included the Blind Auditions that have still popped up over the past two week to show you who has staying power.

1. Andi and Alex and Chance Pena (11)
2. Barrett Baber and Dustin Christensen (41)
3. Celeste Betton and Mark Hood (49)
4. Chase Kerby and Korin Bukowski (78)
5. Jordan Smith and Regina Love (98)
6. Ellie Lawrence (122)
7. Chris Crump and Krista Hughes (139)
8. Ellie Lawrence and Tim Atlas (148)
9. Andi and Alex (169)
10. Amy Vachal and Jubal and Amanda (184)
11. Cassandra Robertson and Viktor Kiraly (192)
12. Jordan Smith (195)
13. Keith Semple and Manny Cabo (231)
14. Braiden Sunshine and Lyndsey Elm (235)
15. Blaine Michell and Blind Joe (236)
16. Amy Vachal (299)
17. Emily Ann Roberts and Morgan Frazier (376)
18. Sydney Rhame (394)
19. Shelby Brown (471)
20. Evan McKeel and Riley Biederer (496)
21. Barrett Baber (503)
22. Tyler Dickerson and Zach Seabaugh (693)
23. Dustin Monk and James Dupre (858)
24. Korin Bukowski (864)
25. Morgan Frazier (932)
26. Ivonne Acero and Siahna Im (989)
27. Krista Hughes (1006)
28. Chance Pena (1044)
29. Amanda Ayala and Shelby Brown (1066)
30. Blind Joe (1068)
31. Lyndsey Elm (1194)
32. Madi Davis and Sydney Rhame (1252)
33. Chris Crump (1434)

Since they went to releasing Battle Round performances as duets instead of separately it is hard to tell who exactly who the buyers were buying for but here is how each team member left would rank if you average their Battle and their Blind Audition


1. Alex and Andi (21.5)
2. Barrett Baber (63)
3. Jordan Smith (67)
4. Ellie Lawrence (98)
5. Amy Vachel (108)
6. Chris Crump (177)
7. Dustin Christensen (184.5)
8. Blind Joe (193)
9. Chance Pena (201.5)
10. Morgan Frazier (225.5)
11. Korin Bukowski (277.5)
12. Viktor Kiraly (347.5)
13. Emily Ann Roberts (392)
14. Blaine Mitchell (417.5)
15. Mark Hood (431.5)
16. Keith Semple (441)
17. Zach Seabaugh (497)
18. James Dupre (536.5)
19. Shelby Brown (552.5)
20. Evan McKeel (617.5)
21. Siahna Im (637.5)
22. Ivonne Acero (651.5)
23. Madi Davis (801.5)
(the next seven only rated once on the top 1500 and here is if they ranked the one that charted and use 1500 as the non chart-er)
24. Regina Love (799)
25. Tim Atlas (824)
26. Braiden Sunshine (867.5)
27. Jeffery Austin (956)
28. Summer Schappell (963)
29. Riley Biederer (998)
30. Darius Scott (1496.5)
(the last two have yet to chart once which is probably not a good sign if they make the Live Show)
31. Koda Wade (1500)
31. Nadhaj Nicole (1500)

Now lets see who the iTunes buyers think has the strongest team if you rank them based on the above standing:

Adam: 174
Blake: 155
Pharrell: 115
Gwen: 83

So the iTunes buyers and me differ on Blake. The big loser is Gwen who has six of the nine singers who have failed to make the top 1500 at least once this season, including her two Steal compared to the other three coaches who had at least one Steal in the top ten. I wonder if Pharrell did his team a disservice with poor song choices and if like me they like Pharrell's team but wished they had better songs.

Unlike the Battle Rounds where the spoiled all the pairings in the preview, we currently do not know any of the Knockout pairings. In fact the only performance we saw in the preview was Jordan's and I looked but I did not even see anyone else on the stage so maybe they are doing Knockouts differently this season. But there is still Steals so either they are still doing it pairs and they are not forcing them to sit on stage while the other sings (which if true booooo, I live the instant reaction and the complete dread when the other singer realizes they are going home just hearing their opponent sing) or the stage was too dark to see.

Without pairing spoilers, it is a bit harder to guess who will advance so I am just going to go with who I predicted after the Blind Audition minus the four (half were Blake's team members; he really messed up this season; of course he will still end up winning) I already got wrong ranking them with how confident I am that they will advance.

Adam: Jordan, Viktor, Shelby, Keith
Blake: Barrett, Zach, Emily Ann, Blind Joe
Gwen: Ellie, Jeffery, Korin, (I really do not want to believe it but it is becoming more and more clear he is this season's Ryan Sill), Braiden
Pharrell: Mark, Amy, Evan, Madi
Steals: Siahna, Dustin, Riley, Ivonne

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