Sunday, March 13, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/13/16




Once Upon a Time: I kind of half joked when Emma said they were going to the Underworld that Hades from Hercules better show up. Then at the end of the episode the king of the Underworld’s hair turned flame blue and it turned out I was right. Man, they are really scrapping the bottom of the Disney barrel on this one. Are they going to Notre Dame next?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Frank, everyone knows the number one rule of drug trafficking is never get high off your own supply. Of course that was going to end badly. Just like Debbie and her pregnant fetish guy. I saw that coming as soon as he asked for her help. Yet that was not even the most shameless moment of the episode. When Lip was confronted by Queenie, I thought, oh no, Lip is going to have sex with his… um; father’s baby momma I guess is what you would call it. And they actually kind of did it depending, not to get all Bill Clinton, on how you describe sex. Physically helping someone to, um, finish the job, kind of constitutes sex. But going by the Bill Clinton definition it was not.

The Walking Dead: So everyone is hooking up now, which means there is going to be a lot of deaths coming up soon. Since she is captured, could Carol be next? I am hard pressed to think they would kill off a pregnant lady, but it seemed apropos that whoever has the two got introduced pretty much the same way Glen was introduced on the show. I thought Abraham was getting the he is about to die edit last week but this week he just dumped Rosita presumably so he can shack up with Sasha instead. Sure I would not kick Sasha out of bed, but Rosita has to be the most attractive chick you are going to find during a zombie apocalypse. But I guess mullet guy has a chance now.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: You know someone is really mad when they get out of a pool and go straight to their car, no shirt, no shoes, not even toweling off, to go punch someone. But c’mon Axe, you have to at least make the kids spend the night at camp before letting them give up. It may be interesting to watch those brats suffer if everything is taken away when Axe goes to prison. Actually let’s not take the Brody mistake of keeping the family on the show too long for this show too.

Quantico: So someone is going to die next week. Except the gay dude died in the Winter finale and him being around in the flashbacks kind of lessens the impact of the death. Since she has a bomb strapped to her, she would be the obvious choice, which means she is not dying or that would be the worst promo monkey job of all time. Instead I think it is going to be one of the twins which would have even less of an impact because not only would they still be in flashbacks but there would still be one twin still alive.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: We have known Hugo Strange has been collecting “dead” people since the Winter finale when we saw Galivan being wheeled and we got to see him in some sort of tank this week. Behind him was three more tanks, the next two with their backs t us and the next facing towards us. I did not recognize that last guy and it is hard to identify someone by the back of their head but that second guy did have red hair so Jerome instantly came to mind. There was a very Fish Mooney looking figure during the Winter finale. So the question is when do these zombies get reanimated? Was the Mr. Freeze serum the final ingredient Hugo needs?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The sad sack stories have been the worst part of the show (well the proliferation of boring white dudes over the past four seasons may actually be worse) but my goodness, do we really need to sit through a dude talking about he kept on hitting decline on his phone right before his dad killed himself? That was just really too rough. And of course it gets worse because no one bothered to turn their chair which seems to happen to some of the people with the saddest stories as if the producers bring them on only for their story knowing they probably will not turn a chair.

Every season I do a bi where I mention all the artists I am surprised anyone covered on the show because the Blind Auditions is where the people are most adventurous and I was surprised that dude sang an Incubus song. And now that I think about, maybe half of those people end up not getting a chair turned. Look at the guy who closed out the week, he auditions last season with a great Cameo song, does not get a chair to turn. Does an overdone song this time and is on a team.

Oh, and holy Ellie Lawrence sighting! Talk about letting people come back, I know they do not let people who get a chair to turn to try out again but really anyone screwed royalty deserves to come back and be on a team with a real coach. Although if they brought Ellie back, they would also have to change the rules to ban anyone who voted for Braiden Sunshine from ever voting again, which they should do anyway. And like the first week, I was pretty meh on the talent this season. Pharrell picked up another indie chick to add to the three he pick up last week, but Christina actually nabbed the best indie chick of the season (so far) with Kristen Marie.


Apparently The Voice is doing that stupid scheduling where Monday’s show will half Blind Auditions, half Battle Round, so I will release my Blind Audition Power Ranking Tuesday evening even though two people will probably already had been sent home (with the third loser being stolen). During the Best of the Blind Auditions special (so none of the five singers yet to be put on a team qualify as Best; though three of the five the only other time they had this format went on to the Live Playoffs so do not completely write them off; sure none of those three got saved by the public vote in the Live Playoffs, but anyway) they did give away a couple of the Battle pairing, I am going to make my predictions now (the person I think is going to win is listed first):

Team Blake
Mary Sarah vs. Justin Whisnant
Paxton Ingrim vs. Brittany Lawrence
Brittany Kennell vs. Trey O’Dell

Team Pharrell
Brian Nhira vs. Abby Celso
Nick Hagelin vs. Jessica Crosbie
Emily Keener vs. Johnathan Bach
Hannah Huston vs. Maya Smith

Team Adam
Natalie Yacovazzi vs. Nate Butler
Laith Al-Saadi vs Matt Tedder

Team Christina

Alison Porter vs. Lacey Mandingo
Tamar Davis vs. Shalyah Fearing
Malik Heard vs. Bryan Bautista

My first takeaway from the pairing is that Pharrell had four previews (and he is the only one who still has two spots left on his team compared to one for everyone else) while Adam only two previews, one of which was between two guy I kind of thought may have been fodder (even though I do like Laith). Actually the other pairing is between two people I would be a bit surprised if either made the Live Shows too. Last spring Pharrell had five of his six Battles result in a Steal and I wonder if that is going to happen again. If my predictions are right I could see someone stealing Abby and Maya who got good edits so far. And predicting Steals do seem to be completely random, but Pharrell Stealing Shalyah. Has he ever not Stolen a young soul singer? There also seems to be more co-ed battles than usual. I wonder if this is a way to consciously limit the number of boring whit dudes make the Live Shows this year after six of the eight singers America saved in the Playoffs last season were boring white dudes (out of a possible seven). My other takeaway from the previews was how much time they spent on only one of the Battle pairing which made some of these predictions really easy (sorry Maya and Lacy). We get it producers you really, really want Alison to win so a female singer and coach will win this season. Except the more you push, the more the bored housewives are going to rebel and have yet another boring white dude win for the fifth straight season.

Lucifer: Two take always from this episode; Lucifer’s brother calls him Lucy. And if the brother is now the gatekeeper to Hades, just how many people are escaping during his many trips to Erth to try to convince his brother to come back home? And when does Lucifer start hunting down those souls because that show would be much more interesting than this one.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Holy Smash Williams sighting! But the bigger shock was Kurt’s sister and Edgar… who knew? Not that they were hooking up but that character’s name was Edgar, I had to look it up and had no clue what his name was. Oh yeah, then there was Jane Doe learning she died.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So what was with the three months from now opener? Civil War does come out in May and the last Captain America movie is really the only time something in the movie actually had much of an effect on the show. But it is probably just a teaser for the season finale. But then again, three months is June and early May is when shows tend to wrap up for the year.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Liars have had some epically dumb ideas over the years, but Hannah admitting she killed CeCe. So what happens when A gets revenge or possibly calls the police?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: So we had our first medical leave of the season (second because apparently Lizzie had to be flown back to America right after being voted out to deal with some staph infections). Just last week I mentioned how even when the person who is getting voted out they always plant a seed for someone else, this is the first time I remember them not even put up a red herring, and went straight to Tribal Council and did not even show Blondie scrambling. Shame the merge came a week too late for her because she could have teamed up with the hot chick alliance. Same for Lizzie. Should be interesting to she how it plays out, if anyone find the Brains Hidden Immunity Idol, or if they are going to put more Idols into play in hopes that a Super Idol gets played.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

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