Showing posts with label "Weird Al" Yankovic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label "Weird Al" Yankovic. Show all posts

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Want My Music Television vol. LXVIII


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Chasing Pirates – Norah Jones



It hard not to think of the Monty Python skit from The Meaning of Life while watching the new Norah Jones video. And listening to song it sounds like hanging around with all the rappers he has latly has made her music slightly less boring.


Somebody to Love - Leighton Meester featuring Robin Thicke



It really too easy to take pot shots at actors who try to sing, but Leighton Meester’s attempt my go down in the annals of time with Joey Lawrence and Brian Austin Green as one of the worst. And I haven’t been this uncomfortable watching a music video since Fiona Apple’s Criminal.


Oh My God – Ida Maria featuring Iggy Pop



How do you follow up a song with the best title of the year (I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked)? Well you can’t. But Ida Maria recruiting Iggy Pop for a video is decent enough.


True Player for Real – MC Lars



Videos don’t get better than having a sock puppet version of “Weird Al” Yankovic. Thank you MC Lars, whoever you are.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CIV


Quote of the Week: A, there are no cows in space and B, didn’t you wear that like five years ago? So don’t you think it’s time to move on? (Alexis, Castle)

Song of the Week: CNR – “Weird Al” Yankovic (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon



Big News of the Week: Trauma Not Getting Renewed: Of course right after its best episode of the season, NBC announced that they were not going to order up any more episodes and if essentially done after its initial thirteen episode order. And if my math is correct, that puts its run over just before Christmas (assuming all of them get filmed by then). This means that we will most likely see Chuck, which got ordered up six more episodes, early 2010. And I as stated earlier, premiering Chuck before the Olympics is not a bright idea.

Trauma: Nothing like a Halloween episode to finally kick start the show. Although it may not be a good sign that my favorite character on the show in the fairy intern who isn’t actually part of the main cast. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Trauma on iTunes.

Greek: Oh, crap, we really are going back to the lame love triangle (quadrangle if Rebecca is going to be included). And the ending just ruined what was turning out to be one of the show’s best thanks to some entertaining one liner’s courtesy of Rebecca Logan. Really the only way the ending could have been worse is had Evan walked in on the two kissing and the show ended with shock on all three faces (or four as Even would be there to walk Rebecca home). You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Greek on iTunes


Castle: The baby egg gave me some bad flashbacks. The period before I was supposed to hand mine in for eighth grade health class I leaned a little to my desk while Lil’ Scooter was in the fanny pack and cracked it making me settle for a D. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes. Also be sure to check out my chat with Stana Katic.

Modern Family: I have when networks think we’re stupid. Seriously, we just saw Manny and Luke get in a fight last week and now it’s the first day of school? If you are going to air episodes out of order, at least make sure there are no glaring continuity errors. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Modern Family on iTunes


Survivor: Samoa: A fairly mundane episode, but judging from the previews, next week will more than make up for it. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Survivor on iTunes


Community: Whoa, they gave Star Burns some lines. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: Brushfire Records Fall 2009 Sampler or Lost Highway Sampler: T For Texas T From Tennessee (Amazon MP3): In the first sampler, you have Jack Johnson’s label featuring himself G Love and Special Sauce and Zee Avi. On the other there is more of a southern rock with Willie Nelson, Lyle Lovett and one of my favorite songs of the year, Sugarfoot by Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears.

Deal of the Week: Indie Films up to 40% Off (Reservoir Dogs, Carmen, The Doors)

Video of the Week: Being Halloween today, here is a little Hallowwen cheer courtesy of Ryan Adams:




Next Week Pick of the Week: Greek, Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family: The last episode before the show takes a hiatus until January and hopefully we see Casey reject Cappie (or at the very least make him buy a razor to shave off that silly fuzz on his face) so he are not stuck back at the beginning of the series with Cappie and Evan fighting over Casey. Also let’s hope that Heath gets a better send off then Fannie got.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

I Want My Music Television vol. LX


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


CNR – “Weird Al” Yankovic



Last month I implored “Weird Al” Yankovic to stick with parodied, well slide me some crow because his latest “style parody” is as cool as any real parody. Al takes the Chuck Norris (who makes a cameo if you look closely) facts and goes one ups man with game show legend Charles Nelson Riley in the style of The White Stripes. Watching this makes me think of the old Remote Control category Dead or Alive (the answer for Riley at the bottom of the post).


She Wolf – Shakira



Excuse me for not being able formulate a cognitive thought to the new Shakira video because my mind has turned to mush. I am pretty sure this would have constituted as softcore porn in the eighties.


Let Me Be Myself – 3 Doors Down



If you remember last month I mentioned Jet made a Teen Wolf reference in their latest video and now another one pops up in the new 3 Doors Down video. Although it may have supposed to be a caveman. I guess we should blame the makeup guy. But between the two videos and the previously mentioned Shakira wolf themed song, I want to again push my McLovin in a Teen Wolf remake with Ellen Paige as Boof. Seriously, I should be a Hollywood executive.


Sleep Alone – Bat for Lashes



There is something extremely haunting about Bat for Lashes but I can never seem to turn it off or turn away whenever she is on.


Sadly Charles Nelson Reilly died in 2007.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I Want My Music Television vol. LVII


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


22 - Lily Allen



Is it wrong that I think the “disheveled” Lily Allen looks hotter than the “posh” one? And what is with the random dance sequence?


Everything I Own - Vanessa Hudgens



I featured the trailer from Bandslam a couple weeks ago and now a full video for Vanessa Hudgens version of Everything I Own. I wonder if there is a longer version out there because there is an obvious edit during the song so sloppy I am surpise they would release it like that. But anyways. The movie still looks like it is going to suck and I am still gioing to watch it if only for Jason Street.


Skipper Dan – “Weird Al” Yankovic



It looks like only the T.I. parody will be the only one on his upcoming Internet Leaks. Hopefully he gets inspired to send up somebody soon because as entertaining as the style parodies are, they just are not memorable. At least give us a polka Al.


Let’s Take a Walk – Raphael Saadiq



Just another classic jam from Raphael Saadiq.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Put Down Your Remote Control, Throw out Your TV Guide



Twenty years ago this month saw the release of one of the truly classic movies in cinematic history. No I am not refereeing to Batman, Ghostbusters II, Lethal Weapon 2 or even Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, all of which landed in the top ten grossing movies of that year. I am talking about a movie that may not have even cracked the top one hundred that year, but still manages to be inducted into the Scooter Hall of Fame: UHF starting and written by “Weird Al” Yankovic.

For a decade, Al had been putting smiles on our faces with his witty parodies of songs, so UHF seemed like a natural progression for Al to lampoon movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark (The Last Crusade was the highest grossing film of 1989), television like The Beverly Hillbillies and even commercials like Spatula City. Sadly the film did so poorly; the movie remains the only one he has ever written.

UHF is also noteworthy as it featured a relatively unknown actor named Michael Richards who would later that year get cast as Cosmo Kramer in Seinfeld. No word if Jerry saw UHF and decided to add the simple minded janitor turned children show host to his cast, but I will just go on living my life thinking so.

Naturally being a “Weird Al” vehicle, there was an accompanying album which featured the previously mentioned Beverly Hillbillies which was put to the tune of Money for Nothing by Dire Straits. Tone Loc got his own television twist with the Gilligan’s Island themed Isle Thing. There were even some of the ads from the movies that made it into the soundtrack like the trailer for the action flick Gandhi II. There was also the token food song with R.E.M.’s Stand being converted to Spam and the prerequisite polka set to Rolling Stone tunes.



Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Want My Music Television vol. LIV


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Craigslist – “Weird Al” Yankovic



“Weird Al” Yankovic has finally harnessed the internet, releasing songs as soon as he records them instead of waiting for a full album with some parodies becoming dated by time of the release. It started with last year’s Whatever You Like with four others to be released sometime this year. First up is a style parody of The Doors which actually features Ray Manzarek on the keyboard because Al thought it was funny thinking about Jim Morrison singing about Craigslist (not to be confused with the Backstreet Boys parody E-Bay). Supposedly the next song will be released as soon as next month.


Paranoid – Kanye West



It is nice that Kanye West says he is going back to rap and even co-produced Jay-Z’s D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune) yet he is still releasing videos for his horrible auto-tune inspired album. And an odd choice to have Rihanna star in a video entitled Paranoid.


I’m Broke – Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears



Hoped you picked up the free Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears song Sugarfoot I mentioned a couple days ago. Here is the second single from the group.


Thug Story – Taylor Swift and T-Pain



We very may well be witnessing the end of the Taylor Swift era.

Monday, December 08, 2008

I Want My Music Television vol. XL


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


I Believe in Father Christmas - U2



Christmas just doesn’t feel like Christmas until I have Bono tell me, “Well thank God tonight it’s them instead of you.” Much like Do They Know its Christmas, proceeds to this song goes to a good cause as it is part of the new (Red)Wire music service where you get exclusic music with the money going to buy medicine for people in need.


My Lucky Day - Bruce Springsteen



Remember the days when new music videos were such an event that Michael Jackson’s Black or White was simulcast on Fox, MTV, VH1, and BET? To put in perspective how far the music industry has fallen, the latest Bruce Springsteen video debuted this on Amazon.com. Oh, and if this is any indication, music is gonna suck under an Obama administration. Huckabee 2012!


Listen Up - EPMD and Teddy Riley



It took me a while to figure out this wasn’t a long lost video from the nineties. EPMD featuring Teddy Riley with Max Headroom-quality graphics and references to Andre Rison and Jim Carey. Really if it weren’t for the E-Bama mention I probably would have continued to think that.


Mixed Up S.O.B. - Presidents of the United States of America



The Presidents of the United States of America is one of those bands you feel bad for because they should be remembered as a One Hit Wonders but actually scored a second hit and sadly VH1 doesn’t run Two Hit Wonders specials. But on the bright side one of those two hits was actually parodied by “Weird Al” Yankovic who coincidentally directed their latest video. Speaking of Al, he has finally discover he can release songs as singles on iTunes right after writing them instead of waiting to have enough to fill an album. So if you haven’t already checked out his version of T.I.’s Whatever You Like do so ASAP. Now if you excuss me, I am going to move to the country and eat me some peaches.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Old Folks Talking 'bout Back in My Day


Today I had planned to give a preview of I Hate My 30’s (which debuts tonight at 10:30 on VH1 or download it for free on iTunes), but we interrupted the regularly sheculed post for this very important video that you must watch:




Kanye West has been known for making multiple videos for the same song, this time he commissioned comedian Zach Galifianakis to make another video for the first single Can’t Tell Me Nothing from the upcoming album Graduation. And how can you better fully visualize a rap video than to film at Galifianakis’ North Carolina farm. I’m not sure why no one has utilized this idea since “Weird Al” Yankovic combined the two for Amish Paradise (and the up-close profile view with his buddy looks like the original Gangstas Paradise). And if Zach doing farm work wasn’t enough, the best part is the cloggers in the blue dresses. Of course this isn’t Galifianakis’ first foray into lip-syncing as he popped up in Fiona Apple’s Not About Love (so for those keeping track at home, Kanye has stolen Fiona’s producer and video director, she may want to keep a close eye on her hairdresser) which landed at number five on my list of the Best Videos of 2006 which I added below as well as Amish Paradise because, well I can:









Thursday, March 22, 2007

Don't Download These Videos vol. XII


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Trapped in the Drive-Thru - “Weird Al” Yankovic



The greatness that is R Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet is parody proof mainly because the opera is basically a parody upon itself so everyone who have tried to make a parody of it has failed. Well until now. Leave it up to the parody king “Weird Al” Yankovic to come up with the best try to date. Granted that doesn’t mean his version comes close to the original and could have done better job. First the narrator only takes on three different characters and he doesn’t split the song into chapters lie the original. But he does leave it on a cliffhanger so maybe we will get more someday. As for the video, it could have been much better had it been live action with Al playing all the different characters. That would have been classic.


Bump de Hump - Red Hot Chili Peppers



Seriously, how can you go wrong with the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Chris Rock? Well I guess only when you put the band in “ironic” grillz. The only thing that would be lamer is if they would have ironically claimed to be bringing SexyBack will wearing the grillz. Other than that this video is pretty cool with the Peppers playing Rock’s block party.


Say OK - Vanessa Hudgens



I just wanted to showcase this video to see if anyone can explain to me why Vanessa Hudgens is wearing one of the drive thru mikes along with a hand held mike. What makes that combo odder is I wouldn’t be all surprised if she’s pulling a Milli Vanilli. With that said, I actually find the song entertaining.


In other news, a melancholy happy trails to Calvert DeForrest, better known as Larry “Bud” Melman. I have been a long time Letterman fan and it was always great whenever Bud would show up. My favorite was whenever Letterman would hype for the first part of the show a big A-lister like George Clooney would be reading the Top 10, only for Bud to come out. Below is a classic appearance:



Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I'd Rather Spend Eternity Eating Shards of Broken Glass


A quick programming note: The Knights of Prosperity, or as I like to call it Let’s Rob Mick Jagger will be on tonight following the Presidential Address at 9:25 so set your alarm clock, VCR, or if your cool enough, your Tivo. If you end up missing it, you can always check it out at ABC.com. And don’t forget to check out my contest on how to win a Knights of Prosperity T-Shirt.

But today I don’t want to talk about entertaining shows like Let’s Rob Mick Jagger or Ego Trip’s The (White) Rapper Show which I’ll be talking about tomorrow. Earlier this week I summed up In Case of Emergency as the least funny show since Four Kings. But there are some shows debuting this year that are so bad that there is no way you can get me to watch them. Topping that list is the Jennifer Lopez driven Dance Life. Just when I think the J-Lo era is finally over they give her and her uber-lame husband their own reality show. Thanks MTV, this better not lead to another crappy album from her.

Next up on the now way I’m ever watching list: Gay, Straight or Taken. What’s worse is this is on Lifetime. So this is what woman do for entertainment? Not only that, wasn’t this a Fox reality show called Playing it Straight at one point? Speaking of ripping off other show, there is I Love New York. What brain trust thought this was a good idea? Didn’t these people learned form The Bachelorette which killed off The Bachelor franchise? Not to mention Flavor Flav is a star, New York, not so much.

Which leads me to tonight’s premiere of another show you won’t ever catch me watching: Armed and Famous. Yeah, why not in the middle of the War on Terror deputize a bunch of publicity seekers who will only mock the profession of protecting us? I have a sinking suspicion that this was the very reality show Jordan McDeere passed on for NBS. But surpisingly it wasn’t picked up by Fox, nope this stinker will air on CBS. And the cast makes the Surreal Life Fame Gamers look like actual A-Listers: Erik Estrada looks like he is trying to beat his Surreal cast mate Trishelle for shaming themselves for the most reality show, LaToya Jackson is a sixth rate Jackson after Michael, Janet, Joe, Tito and Germaine, Jack Osbourne is also the least interesting in his family, Jason Acuna known to drunken frat boys everywhere as Wee Man, and Trish Stratus who left wrestling for this trash. Oh and I have pictures courtesy of CBS:



Want more, head over to Ficken Chingers where Angie has amateur pictures of Wee Man and Jack as she lives in Muncie, Indiana where the show was film. Somehow she didn't get any camera time herself even though I know she watched My Name Is Earl this past week and should have had plenty of suggestions on how to get on a reality cop show. But anyways. For those interested in the show, and I can’t imagine anyone outside of Muncie would, the show airs tonight at 8:00. Me, I'll be watching quality programming like Friday Night Lights and Beauty and the Geek at that hour. Oh and don’t forget Let's Rob Mick Jagger after Bush’s speech. Oh and for those that din't catch it, the title for this post is from a Weird Al song.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Best Videos of 2006


For today’s end of the year spectacular I will be counting down the best music videos of the year. And thanks to YouTube we saw a return to the art form and more videos may be getting viewed that the heyday of MTV when they actually showed them. Unfortynately some record labels are not fond of the idea of free advertisement so some videos have been take off the site yet they always seem to find their way back on the site. I have embedded the top five videos, after that you can click on the title to go to YouTube and view it if available. Also if you are interested in buying the video (or the song) click the iTunes tag, again if available.



1. God’s Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash Johnny Cash - American V - A Hundred Highways - God's Gonna Cut You Down




2. White & Nerdy - “Weird Al” Yankovic '




3. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley Gnarls Barkley - Crazy - Single - Crazy




4. Boston - Augustana Augustana - Boston (Plus Single) - Boston




5. Not About Love - Fiona Apple Not About Love



6. Bones - The Killers The Killers - Video Triple Play - Bones

7. Rollin’ with Saget - Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone Jamie Kennedy & Stu Stone - Blowin' Up, Season 1 - Rollin' With Bob Saget (Music Video)

8. Wind it Up - Barenaked Ladies Wind It Up

9. When the Deal Goes Down - Bob Dylan

10. Work it Out - Jurassic 5 & Dave Mathews Band

11. Here it Goes Again - OK Go O.K. Go - Video Triple Play - Here It Goes Again

12. When You Were Young - The Killers The Killers - Video Triple Play - When You Were Young

13. I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in my Hair) - Sandi Thom Sandi Thom - Smile... It Confuses People - I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)

14. Crooked Teeth - Death Cab for Cutie Death Cab for Cutie - Directions - Crooked Teeth

15. Fidelity - Regina Spector

16. Smile - Lily Allen

17. Touch the Sky - Kanye West Touch the Sky (Edited Version)

18. Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Videos - Dani California

19. Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarls Barkley

20. Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer John Mayer - Video Triple Play - Waiting On the World to Change

21. Where’d You Go - Fort Minor Fort Minor - Where'd You Go - Single - Where'd You Go (Amended Version)

22. Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira & Wyclef Jean Shakira - Video Triple Play - Hips Don't Lie (Featuring Wyclef Jean)

23. Learn to Live with What You Are - Ben Folds

24. Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood Before He Cheats

25. How to Save a Life (Mark Pellington Version) - The Fray

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

I Got My Degree in Crying


Taylor Hicks - Taylor Hicks

Long time readers know my dislike of the national karaoke contest that is called American Idol. The show is usually loaded with singers who are not good enough to land a record contract without going on a reality show singing songs that are not all that good to begin with. And to back up my theory is that aside from original idol none of the winners have really lived up to the moniker (granted found a niche fan base) when thirty million people watch the show yet they barely go platinum. But anyways.

The latest, and most surprising karaoke winner went to , a guy so old he actually older than me, and let be honest, if you are older than me, you by definition cannot be an idol. Even though I avoid the show like the plague, it’s very hard to avoid updates and people talking ad nausea about the show and whenever I saw Hicks was still in the running I would think to myself, Him? Seriously?” I always thought him staying in the competition was like back in high school where you vote the kid from the “special” classes to win the talent show just to make him feel good. But apparently a whole nation felt bad for him leading to the worst winning song in American Karaoke history, Do I Make You Proud? To answer the question, no. In fact “Weird Al” Yankovic asked a better question, Do I Creep You Out? And to that a resounding yes.

And so just like all the previous Karaoke winners, a rush was put on to get his debut album out before Christmas, and like previous albums, the rush shows. The album is chalk full of bland pop songs that aren’t helped by Hick’s who sounds like if Michael McDonald actually sounded white. Just for good measure they even throw in the prerequisite Diane Warren song (Places I’ve Been). And if you think Hick pseudo-blue-eyed-soul is cheesy, wait until you hear him try to croon a balled. Also helping out Hicks is (no not the guy behind Veronica Mars) who penned Dream Myself Awake, as well as an unreleased tune, The Right Place. Hick even dusts off two songs he wrote for an earlier album (wait a minute, I thought American Karaoke was an amateur competition, how does he already have an album?).

One of the reason former contestant fail is most likely because your normal viewer much prefers their karaokers to sing other people’s songs instead of creating their own. Hicks alleviates that problem a little by adding a cover of ’s Wherever I Lay My Hat (That’s My Home). And he also rips off samples Ray Charles What I’d Say on Heaven Knows. But when it comes down to it, the album is one of those after a half an hour you realize, “what that’s still on, I totally forgot I was listing to it,” the album is that boring. And being mediocre is actually worse that being bad. Say what you want about Paris Hilton (and I said a lot during her review: Since I'm Already Screwed Here's Message to You), but she managed to make the worst album of the year and there is something novel in that. Anyone can be mediocre like Hicks and the other Karaokers, but it takes a lot of talent (or in this case extreme lack of it) to be the worst of the worst.

Oh and if I were , I’d look into copyright infringement for Hicks obsessive use of the similarly sounding silly catchphrase. Well maybe wait to see how the Mariah Carey/Mary Carey lawsuit turns our.

Song to Download - Dream Myself Awake

Taylor Hicks gets a Terror Alert Level: Low [GREEN] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Monday, December 04, 2006

We on Award Tour: Big in 2006 Awards


Back in October, despite two whole months left, VH1 released it’s nominations for their Big in 2006. The nominations came so early then even had to add some nominees later because they deserved to be mentioned when talking about the year that was. Of course the nominations had to come so early because even though December was just a couple days old the channel held the awards ceremony. Well to be technical that’s just when they aired because the actual awards were likely taped days ago. But anyways. Here are some thoughts from the festivities:

- Even though the latest movie in the franchise was just released you really shouldn’t open up a show about 2006 with a James Bond parody. Although dressing D.L. Hughley up like Boret yet looking more like Steve Harvey was funny. And the monologue was great. Now if only Sorkin would let D.L. write some comedy for (which oddly didn’t receive a mention) imagine how the show could actually be better.

Cue up that chessy Winger song- Whoever decided to pair up and the cheerleader from should be charged with Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor. They hand out the Big Music Artist to . Yawn, I’m ready for sexy to go away again.

- is your backstage announcer for the night and possibly got more screen time than Hughley. I am now convinced that Flav has some compromising pictures of the president of VH1.

- Umm, should I know who Miley Cyrus is? She along with Lance Bass, who somehow escapes from obscurity just for being outed, are out to announce the performance of . They put this way too early in the show because it’s too soon for a bathroom break. I really hope the Fergie era ends along with 2006 and she takes all the other faux female rappers along with her.

- Wow, Kathy Griffin is looking scarier and scarier by the minute. Give her a wig and five years and she will look exactly like Joan Rivers. Lame segment too.

- Next up are the Dancing with C-Listers losers, the dudes from Blossom and Save by the Bell who give the award for big comeback to another has been who needs a reality show to stay on television, .

- wins Big Mama. Keep in mind most of the voting was done before she started hanging out with and flashing her kootchiepop all over the place. And to think two weeks ago no one thought there was anyway could win custody of their children and now he actually looks like the better parent.

We established that she isn’t really fifteen, right?- Speaking of bad plastic surgery, here comes Jenna Jamison. But this begs the question is it really a bad face lift if no one ever looks at your face? But anyways. , who apparently has a real name, Jessica Rose, and cleans up well from all the pajamas she wears to win the Big Web Hit. Now was I just fantasizing are did Jessica ask to make a video with Jenna?

- are onstage with, like Fergie, the same song they performed at the VMA’s. Oh well, at least it’s the best song off their album. And I really like the last line, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus… But more than you’ll ever know.” (Mmm, I wonder if that line will show up later this month.)

- Two actors from various shows give the award for Big Breakthrough to who despite being on tape is funny as usual as he has a collection of Emmys around. Odd that he pokes fun at the cast of fellow nominee yet they weren’t mentioned in the nominee segment.

Yep Weird Al is Whate and Nerdy- and his trophy wife is out to announce the best performance of the night: . I was a little disappointed that VH1 didn’t take my advice and have Al perform with , but this will have to do.

- The Big Shocker goes North Korea testing the bomb. VH1 really dropped the ball by not staging an acceptance speech by bringing in the puppet from .

- The Big Mistakes was another great bit by Hughley, the best being when talking about Mel Gibson blaming all the wars on the Jews, Hughley said, “I didn’t know George Bush is Jewish.” High comedy right there.

- Next out are the dude from Borat not named Borat and (it’s time to cut your loses Hulk, Brooke’s music career is officially a failure) to give the Big Reality Star to some chick from . Really? There is something ironic (possibly sad) about people who sit around their house watching people sit around a house doing nothing.

- announces the Big It-Girl as Katherine McVeigh. I wonder if she’s related to the dude who blew up the building in Oklahoma City.

- Nothing says 2006 like a performance by the dude from . Um, yeah, okay. Apparently he was out to recognize the woman of reality TV, sadly Casey from the Real World/Road Rules Challenge was missing. Although they made up for her absence by closing out the segment with Ms. Jay, that had me on the floor laughing.

- Umm, should I know who Perez Hilton is? Whoever he is, he really needs to invest in a speech coach. And only Paris Hilton would be so starved for the spotlight that she would actually show up to accept an award like Big Outlaw. I wonder if she realizes that we are laughing at her, not with her.

I never knew Adam Sessler could sing- When did the dude from start singing for ?

- Nice of VH1 to award Big Entertainer to long after most people believed he stopped being funny. The proof was in his acceptance speech where he too a joke that should have been funny (saying he’d meet up with Lindsay, Paris, and Britney then flash his junk while getting out of a car) only to go way overboard. It’s time to learn about subtlety Dane.

- The last award of the night goes to for Big TV Star. Yawn. Possibly the most boring VH1 award show ever.


If you watched the Big show you undoubtedly saw some commercials for upcoming VH1 reality shows because that’s all they show anymore. Here I rank them in order of how excited I am about them.

4) I Love New York - A spin-off of a spin-off of a spin-off of a spin-off; that has to be some sort of record. But even though I’m a huge Flavor Flav guy there is no way you can get me to watch this.
3) Tom Sizmore Show - I missed what the exact title of the show was and oddly there is no mention of it on the VH1 website, but it looks exactly like Breaking Bonaduce but without the wife. Granted there is a reason why I don’t watch that show and won’t be watching this.
2) The Surreal Life Game - The Surreal Life was a complete rip off of The Real World so it was inevitable that it would riff its spin-off, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge and just like the RW/RR I’ll watch every minute.
1) The White Rapper Show - It looks like an American Karaoke rip-off with M.C. Search of 3rd Bass as a judge. Seriously, this could be the greatest show in VH1 history. Well maybe not Pop Up Videos good, but close.