Showing posts with label Big Head. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Head. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Big Head Rafael and the Monsters


Big Head RafaelOkay, that title doesn’t have the same ring as Big Head Barry, because Rafael’s dome isn’t so big that it looks like it will topple off his neck at any given moment like Barry's. But one thing that Barry can say that Rafael can’t is that he has never tested positive for steroids, well unless you count allegedly admitting he took steroids in front of a federal grand jury. And I am just that Big Head Barry announcement that he will not play this season came just hours after Palmeiro’s test result came out. Bonds want to defect any negative attention he can. Of course Barry, the best way to defect attention is just retire, do everyone a favor and announce that as soon as possible.

My biggest problem of this whole Palmeiro situation is how long this has taken. Reportedly, the failed test came back in May and it has taken this long for his suspension came out. I mention last week about how slow it took for Kenny “The Gambler” Rogers to finally start his suspension, and Palmeiro took even longer. And I’m not the only one, Rep. Cristopher Shays of Connecticut, the No. 2 Republican on the Government Reform Committee said,
“I find it pretty amazing if this was a test that was scored months and months and months ago. Why take so long is beyond me. It's just another example of how the players rule. If someone tests positive, the determination should be much quicker and the punishment should be much more severe.”
My suggestion to fix this is that the sports league needs to set up their suspensions like the US Courts system where you sit in jail until your trial. In terms of the major leagues, you serve your suspension the day it comes down, and if you want an appeal, you better hurry to the commissioner’s office to get it overturned before you miss too many games. And in both cases, if they were wrong, they will give you a hardy “Sorry” on your way out. But while mulling the suspension, Palmeiro just happened to get his 3000 hit, to which MLB openly celebrated even though it knew that he had tested positive for steroids.

It turned out today the steroid found in Palmeiro’s test was Winstrol, which was made famous by Ben Johnson at the 1988 Olympics. Not so ironically, Johnson also did not knowingly take the substance and suggested some one spiked his drink. Not very likely as my source said that is something that is injected into the bloodstream nor is something you would find at your local GMC. This drug doesn’t really sound like something that you could take unintentionally unless Palmeiro is a diabetic and his doctor told him it was insulin.

It also looks like Joseph McCarthy and his cronies are back on the case too as Palmeiro has agreed to release documents regarding his positive test to Congress. Like he really had a choice, he had as much of a choice to go before the Congressional Hearing in the first place. You remember back in March when Palmeiro waged his finger at Congress like the chick from and read a paper that said he has never done steroids. Rep. Tom Davis, R-Va said,
“As a practical matter, perjury referrals are uncommon. Prosecutions are rare. But this is a high-profile case, so I think it will get an honest look-see. I don't think anyone can avoid it. If we did nothing I think we'd look like idiots, don't you?”
Well, yeah, but you do nothing for most of the year, looking like idiots and yet you politicians have been doing that for year. And let’s not forget the last time you brought up perjury charges on some one. You had all the in the evidence right down to a stained dress and couldn’t get a conviction.

The biggest question here is should Palmeiro be elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. The answer is quite easy: no. Here we have a proven cheater. And this is not cheating like Sosa’s corked bat or pitchers scuffing the ball. Palmeiro, and any other steroid user, chemically alter their body. A corked bat can affect a play; steroids affect whole seasons and more. This should be considered much worse than what Pete Rose did and should keep any known steroid users out of the Hall and any suspected users should have a long look taken at them before they are let in. If that means a whole generation is left out, then so be it. Just induct managers, broadcasters, and journalist for the next fifteen years unless you are positive they are clean.

As a result of all this, it looks like Jose Cansaco is going to write yet another naming even more name. It is really sad when Cansaco is one of the few guys in baseball today that you can trust to tell the truth these days. I’m not sure who read the last book or who will read the next one as he is one the most excruciatingly painful dude to listen to on The Surreal Life. The guy could barely form sentences on the show.


Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Big Head Barry and the Monsters midseason edition


The second half of baseball starts tomorrow, so what better time to give a mid-season assessment. The biggest story of the first half has been the lack of Big Head Barry. And for me that is a good thing. Just hang up the cleats, the clear, and the cream full time Barry, the game is doing good without you humongous dome. But without Big Head Barry playing everyday, there isn’t much to make fun of through-out the course the first half. Luckily Kenny Rogers quickly became a great public enemy #2 recently. First he has to miss a start after getting into a fight with a water cooler. Then after getting mocked for that, decided to pick a fight with a camera man. An old and concededly smaller camera man. But a least he put up a better fight than the water cooler. I wonder what exactly the camera man said to Rogers. “You’re my lady?” “You got to know when to hold them?” And for everyone who was against Rogers pitching in the All-Star game was proven wrong yesterday. First the announcer actually paused to give the fans extra time to boo him. Then Chipper Jones tattooed him to start a NL run. Not to mention he had to answer questions from the hated media the last couple days.

As for my boy the Astros, after a slow start, they have got hot lately. Sound familiar? In fact, the Astros are one game better than they were last year. But unfortunately Carlos Beltran won’t be helping out this year. And they can’t rely on the Cubs choking again because they choked early this year. Although if Brandon Backe can throw together a few solid starts in a row, get one more bat, and actually win on the road (the start the second half with a long road trip starting in St. Louis) Houston could get the wild card again this season.

The International Olympic Committee also made baseball news over the All-Star break by announcing they are dropping baseball and softball from the games. Now I sick of all the pervs complaining that won’t be able to see , but softball won’t be dropped until the 2012 London games. Who know how good Finch will look by then. Look at how far and have fallen lately. And we don’t even if she will still be playing then. And lets be honest, Derek Jeter looks more attractive than most of Finch’s teammates. As for baseball, this was a poor decision as the sport is huge in the Caribbean nations and Asia, so there was a lot of competition. And I dislike the IOC’s reason for baseball being dropped is because the MLB doesn’t send their players. That’s a sham because the Olympics are always better when the amateur players are participating and dropping one of the sports that doesn’t send its pro’s is a sham.

Now onto the baseball that truly matters, fantasy baseball. First there is Jobu’s Revenge of the California Penal League. Currently they are sitting in first place with a one game lead. Not bad for drafting 9 out of 12 teams. On top of that, I only have one player currently hitting over .300 (Jeter). Pitching has really been the strong point by picking up some gems in the later rounds like Chris Carpenter (9), Chad Cordero (11), and Livan Hernandez (13).

As for Bond’s Giant Head in the Bash Brothers League, they have been ransacked by injuries in the first half leading to a late slide in the first half to end up in 7th (out of 10) place and 16 games out. As mentioned earlier, injuries to Cory Patterson, Orlando Cabrera, Javy Lopez, Erik Bedard, among others have really damaged my worst to first dream. But at least I have the best name in the league.

In other sports news, it looks like hockey is back. Well that only too 300+ days.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Big Head Barry and the Monsters Update


It's been a while since I've blasted my favorite oversized melon, but the latest Bonds story is a good one (or bad depending how you look at it). In Tales from the White Sox Dugout, former White Sox Ron Kittle tells how he approached the Giant's slugger with a couple of Bonds' game-worn road jerseys, asking him to autograph them for an auction for Kittle's charity for children with cancer:

I paid about $110 of my own money for them, so they could be auctioned off at the golf outing. I did that all the time for stars like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens. When I tell them how their autographs help the cause, every player gladly signs - with one exception. I walked up to Bonds at his locker in the Wrigley Field visitors' clubhouse, introduced myself and said, "Barry, if you sign these, they'll bring in a lot of money for kids who need help." Bonds stood up, looked me in the eye and said, "I don't sign for white people." If lightning hits me today, I will swear those were his exact words. Matt Williams and other Giants were in the room and they heard what Bonds said.

You can check out Bonds' response here - Bonds blasts Kittle for racist quote attributed to Bonds.

In related Big Head Barry news, his trainer is in the news again, check out what he's up to -
Anderson didn't receive a plea deal.

In more uplifting sports news, The Cleveland Browns recently donated $300,000 to nine local schools that were in danger of having to cut all extracurricular actives. It's nice to see they are putting the money they took back from Kellen "I'm a soldier" Winslow Jr. into a good cause. The NFL then added another $200,000. Apparently the Browns realize what our government doesn't that "
Kids are gonna act a fool, when you cut the programs for after school?" But I guess it doesn't matter to them as long as No Millionaire is Left Behind.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Musings From the Back 9


I found this over at He Says, She Says and had to take the test myself. Must be a very scientific test if I end up being my boy, Indiana Jones.


:: how jedi are you? ::

Some other musings that don't deserve their own place:

- Why is everyone knocking Tiger Woods for putting off the green and Billy Casper for dropping a 105 at the Masters? Don't those happen all the time (or is it just me)?

- I was checking out the status of my new name (yes I'm conceited, so what) and found out that there is another Scooter McGavin who started a petition to legalize a certain banned substance and I'm not referring to the cream or the clear. And to top things off, the petition is being sent to the government. Why don't they just send a letter to the government asking to be arrested? Morons.


- Am I the only one who was mad when they realized Fair Enough was not really an upcoming sitcom. I first saw the ad on Fox, so I was convince that it was real. This would have instantly been the second best sitcom next to Arrested Development.

- I passed on Sin City this weekend and last after picking up a promo DVD at Best Buy that had three scenes and a couple of documentaries. It looks like the film will look great visually but the plot seems a little slow and fits better as a comic book graphic novel than a movie. Although I can almost guarantee that I'll take a look at it when the DVD comes out. (Also keep in mind that it not too visually groundbreaking either as Boyz II Men did the back and white with drops of color almost 15 years ago in the It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday video.)

- Another movie I won't be seeing this weekend, or ever for that matter is Fever Pitch. Any male who is seen coming out of this movie should have his Man Card promptly revoked.

- Stat of the day: Roger Clemens is 3 for 3 with the bases loaded and batting
.333 with runners in scoring position. Granted his batting average will be raised after yesterdays game when, after the Reds intentionally walking Willy Taveras and letting him steal second, Clemens batted in two runs on an infield hit. This turned out to be the game winner as the Astros won 3-2.

- Big Head Barry Update: He is currently rehabbing with BALCO's own Greg Anderson whom Big Head Barry referred to as a "wonderful person, a very, very giving person." The problem, Big Head Barry, is when what the person is giving you happens to be an illegal substance, that is not a good thing. It's quality over quantity that counts, Barry.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

McGwire Update


Earlier this week I made an argument against Mark McGwire's inclusion to the Baseball Hall of Fame in my Big Head Barry and the Monsters blog. Apparently most of the Hall of Fame voters agree with according to this article on ESPN, Some Hall voters in a foul mood over fair play. It goes on to say the Bonds is currently in, but I wonder if it slipped after his recent, "Woe is me" routine which I believe came after the survey was taken. I have a feeling the more Barry talks, the lower his Hall of Fame stock goes down. And eventually he will be out of it like McGwire. Or the next commissioner will settle the debate himself and ban all proven steroid, or other illegal performance enhancer, user.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Big Head Barry and the Monsters


It seems that after his knee surgery that Barry Bonds may miss half the season if not all. Here's an idea Barry, retire. The only person I'd like to see out of baseball quicker that Barry Bonds is Bud Selig. But apparently Bonds is currently stressed. Stressed about what? He gets paid millions to play a kids game. He has financial security for the rest of his life and probably for the rest of his kid's life. A brain surgeon has stress over his job. A policeman has stress over his job. The coal miner who has to drop a month's salary to see Barry play has stress. And who does Barry say is the cause of his stress? The media is. I'm sorry, did the media put a syringe in his butt (allegedly)? Did the media set up a date with a woman who wasn't his wife (allegedly)? Did the media help set up a tax shelter (allegedly)? So he cheats on baseball, his wife, and his taxes (allegedly). I would hate to play cards with this guy. As a wise man once said Barry, "Girl don't go away mad. Girl just go away."

On another baseball story, I received my copy of Newsweek today and on the cover it poised the question, "No 'Hall' for McGwire?" I haven't had a chance to read the article yet, but the quick answer is no. "Shoeless" Joe Jackson is still kept out of the Hall for cheating for one game. With steroids or other growth hormones in his system, how many games did he cheat? It might be easier to count the seasons cheated. And don't want to hear the, "But steroids were not a banned by the MLB back then" excuse. Steroids were illegal substance according to the U.S. government and anyone who used them back them should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Not too mention McGwire best asset was his power. He rarely hit for average nor did he make a regular appearance on Web Gems. So when your only asset is proven to be aided by a chemical substance then no Hall for you. With any luck, whoever replaces Bud (hopefully sooner rather later) will do the right thing and ban everyone who is a proven steroid or human growth hormone user and strike (no asterisks) any necessary record or MVP award.

Moving on to basketball, Paul Silas recently got the axe by Cleveland. The Cavs' may have pulled the trigger a little early on this one. He should be praise for having this team in playoff contention. After LeBron, the Cavs don't have much to talk about. They even have some dude named
Ira Newble starting. Read that last sentence again and tell me that Silas is to fault. Seriously, Ira Newble. What I don't understand about Silas is how everyone brought up how much a stand up guy he is. Yet this season alone he has blow up with Eric Snow (a stand up guy in his own right) and recently Silas called Carlos Boozer a four letter word that starts with C (Umm, cute? Coco maybe? Chap? Mmm, I give up). Come to think about it, I can think of some one the Cavs can talk about not named LeBron, Usher. I have been racking my brains for a month trying to figure out how this guy can buy a basketball team. This is a guy who floated around in relative obscurity putting out albums that only morbidly obese chicks listen to. (Usher’s fans are like the anti-Dave Matthews Band fan. Seriously has anyone seen an unattractive girl who listens to DMB?) Then last year when he inexplicitly sold one million copies in one week. Then all the sudden he has enough money to buy a basket ball team? At least Jay-Z has a string of hit albums and a successful record label before he bought a piece of the Nets. Only in Cleveland can we go from a blind owner to a pop star. Here's to another 50 years without a major championship. [In a Lil' Jon growl] Yeah!