57 Channels and Only This Is On: 7/6/14

Penny Dreadful: We finally got to find out who was going to be Frankenstein’s Bride and not surprisingly it ended up being the prostitute with consumption. We also learned what Ethan’s deep dark secret is and not surprisingly he turned out to be the wolf man as that has been telegraphed all season. The only shock of the finale was that Sir Malcolm actually chose Vanessa over Mina. We did not get any conclusion in the Dorian Grey storyline and we never saw him again after getting rejected by Vanessa for what seemed to be the very first time ever rejected the man.

Switched at Birth: That is an interesting debate, is someone Hispanic due to their upbringing or should Daphne be disqualified since she was technically born a WASP. Does that make Bay more deserving since she was raised in a very posh lifestyle?
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: After a stellar first season, Lost inexplicably killed the Token Hot Chick early in the second season (for the second time, they killed her off during a dream sequence during the first season) starting a swift decline thereafter. I figured after that gaff, no show would be dumb enough to kill off their Token Hot Chick ever again. Fast forward to this week when Under the Dumb did not just kill off their Token Hot Chick, they killed off two of them. In the same episode. What the frack?
You can stream Under The Dome on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime users.

Murder in the First: I cannot decide what my favorite part of the episode was, the octipi t-shirt or Steven Weber dancing at Burning Man.
You can download Murder in the First on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: After Alison returned to Rose4wood I was expecting a new change in the dynamics of the show but those changes have been as small and inconsequential as Hanna’s new hairdo. It seems like the show has been in a holding pattern since Alison’s return. Maybe they were holding anything exciting off until the 100th episode next week. Hopefully things pick up from there.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/29/14

Orphan Black: Oh no, I fear that we already seen the Jump the Shark moment. Most sci-fi shows with an extraordinary character usually takes a misstep when they introduce a second version of the special person and I was thinking the exact same thing when we learned there are a second set of clones. Surprisingly that set of clones was not based on Paul but instead the weird Prolethean dude. I will give the show the benefit of the doubt, but this type of revelation always seems to be the downfall of these types of shows.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: They have teased there is something more to Ethan than simply being American, I first thought he may be Jack the Ripper. Then it seemed pretty obvious that he was a werewolf. But after this week, could it be something entirely different, some sort of high priest, demon hunter? What exactly was he doing to Vanessa and why has he not done it sooner?

Crisis: Sure it had its issues and some back acting, but now that the season is over the show turned out to be the best case scenario for a network trying to rip off Homeland. It is a shame more people did not watch. But it is probably the best thing because that way it is now limited to just one season (though a second season manhunt for Gibson after breaking out of prison could have worked). Since the season was for the most part self contained, it is surprising that Amber did not learn that her aunt was really her mother; even more surprising is that we learned Gibson knew this and never used it to his advantage.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: The show’s writers really need to stop watching Catfish. The plot was silly enough when the dude was getting revenge on Emmitt for getting him suspended, but to now make him secretly in love with Emmitt is just silly.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Please, please, please let the new hot Rosewood resident be part of some new lesbian Swimf@n storyline.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Oh Nany, I am not sure out could have made up the extra time had you not, but you cannot get off the bike. Oh well, winner or second place, this was clearly the season of Nany: she somehow out-crazies Camilla in a passing of the torch moment, hooks up with another dude while flirting heavily with another, gets blown up by Cara Maria and still manages to win that Challenge. That is an all-time performance right there. On the flip side of the coin there was Zach who flips over his canoe in the first leg, does not figure out the tree puzzle is an actual puzzle, no geography knowledge needed (granted on Bananas figured that out), then almost died multiple times in the third and fifth legs. How are you in a final with Devyn and still manage the lead impressive performance?
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/22/14

Orphan Black: My favorite part of last week’s episode was when Donnie surprised Vic and Angie in the van and told them to smile as he took a picture and for no apparent reason Vic through up the peace sign. Awesome. I have long hoped for a Donnie and Alison spin-off and even though she is at the bottom of the Clone Power Rankings I would also watch a Helana / Gracie road trip spin-off.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: R.I.P. Van Helsing. I am not sure if it was intended, but I laughed.

Crisis: So everyone already knows Gibson is behind the whole kidnapping scheme and yet he still concocted a plausible way of explaining that he is actually not the man behind the curtain. But with the secret service guy dead, who are they going to make the fall guy? Well since the final two episodes got burned off last night, you may already know by the time you read this (for the few of us that kept with it).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: My favorite part of the episode was that John just happened to type in just the right phrase (weather?) as to be suggested that Bay was searching for the morning after pill. That is going to be an awkward conversation next episode.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Murder in the First: I am not legal expert, really all I know about the law is from I learn from procedurals like these, but to does seem like the way the people obtain DNA on this show are blatant violations of the fourth amendment.
You can download Murder in the First on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: So the person that saw who “killed” Allison and buried her to keep that secret is now dead. Ugg. I guess the two leading subjects are whoever did try to kill Allison and maybe even Allison herself.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Defiance: So what happened to the madam? She was only mentioned once and we did not even get to see her in the lengthy “previously on” segment. I vaguely remember her being brought into the woods to be shot but would not put any money on it. And she was my favorite character and I am not just saying that because she ran a brothel. Okay, I am mostly saying that because she ran a brothel.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also donload Defiance on iTunes

Dominion: I am not sure what was more disappointing, that they killed off Tyra Collette off screen or that Rupert Giles has an American accent. I guess I probably should not have expected more for a Syfy original show. Their best ones are the shows they import. I am pretty sure there was a wire in one of Michael’s flying scenes. Interesting to see ads for Spartacus premiering next week considering I remember ninety percent of the show was gratuitous nudity and violence so there is going to have to be copious editing even for basic cable. They may actually be able to air the entire season in one hour after cutting out the scenes unsuitable for cable.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Dominion on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: What a crappy way to go out for CT and the chick’s who name I cannot even remember even though she somehow made it through an entire season. They could have come up with a better way to determine the finals than everyone participating in the draw. At least have everyone vote for one person to go into the draw for one ofr the competitors and if there is a tie, everyone does it.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/14/14

Quote of the Week: Post Script: Your father loves you very much and will do anything to save you. But I love you in a different way. I love you enough to kill you. (Vanessa Ives, Penny Dreadful)

Song of the Week: Vacation – The Go Go’s (Growing Up Fisher)

Big News of the Week: Dynasties Over?: The NBA Finals started much like last year, Spurs and Heat trading wins (they did so until the Heat won the final two games), that was until in game four when the Spurs embarrassed the Heat for the second straight game in Miami. It is not outside the realm of possibility that the Heat could win three straight games, but it would be the first time a team came back from a 3-1 deficit. So what would be next for both teams? It is highly speculated that pop Tim Duncan and Greg Popavich would go out on top, five championships in fifteen years. Then there is the Heat, all of the big three can opt out. There are rumors that LeBron could take his talents to LA or back home to Cleveland. But losing in the finals (the second time in four trips), could all three come back and add on a big fourth in Carmelo Anthony, who I like to refer to as the worst star in the history of the sport.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Paris" Perception Season Premiere, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT

Orphan Black: I am all for more clones on the show, which is lacking so far this season aside from one we met via video who is already dead, , but Tony may have gone one clone too far. And that was before Felix made out with the dude who looks exactly like his sister.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: We finally learned more about Vanessa like how her ties with Sir Malcolm goes way back and she is possibly the reason Mina was targeted. We met the demon that torments her in very explicit fashion that actually scares her mother to death. But there are still plenty of questions surrounding her.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, so Shanna has been A this whole time? I thought she has know Allison’s whereabouts. Granted I am sure there is probably more A’s out there or we will learn she was just part of the A-Team. Although it looks like Mona might be starting up her own B-team.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I routinely mention how Survivor should steal The Challenge challenge makers, but this week The Challenge actually stole Survivor’s triangle puzzle. Nothing else much to talk about since this was the week when the show foes its once a season, end the episode before the final duel which I always hate. It does seem safe to assume that CT will win the men’s side because in the Next Time On we saw him punch through the dry wall wrist deep o one punch. Then on the other side it seems like Laurel has the clear advantage with the length, oh yeah, and she has two functioning hands.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Try - Colbie Caillat (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Mutineers - David Gray

New DVD Release of the Week: Walk of Shame

Video of the Week: For Seth Rogan and James Franco’s next movie, The Interview, there are going to kill Kim Jun Un. Awesome. Though the characters’ names are not mentioned in the trailer, I am just going to go ahead and hope this is a sequil to This Is the End where they are playing themselves. Unfortunately with Lizzy Caplan showing up as some government agent, this is probably not the case. And that is the first time anyone has used the words “unfortunately” and “Lizzy Caplan” in the same sentence.


Next Week Pick of the Week: World Cup, Monday at 5:30 on ESPN: The World Cup started earlier this week but for us xenophobes, it really does not start until Monday when the red, white and blue take the field (quite literally, and the jerseys are kind of hideous in a vertical French flag kind of way). It will be a hard road to the Knockout Round, only Group D with all four teams in the FIFA top 35 World Ranking. But Group G features two of the top four teams in the world (Germany and Portugal). At least America gets to start off with the easiest match of the group: Ghana (37th in the world) except the African country knocked the USA out of the last two World Cups. The next match is Sunday against Portugal also at 5:30 and they close the round robin against Germany, Thursday (6/26) at 11:30 A.M. both on ESPN.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/25/14

Mad Men: After Pete missed her twice, I was beginning to fear that we not get to see Trudy this episode and after Community got canceled, I need my Alison Brie fix anyway I can get it. I even sit through her vodka ads. But anyway. Every since Bob Benson creepily touched Pete’s thigh, people questioned his sexuality and this week we got a definitive answer as to just how he swings, going as far as to ask Joan to be his beard. Poor Joan, actually thinks she can still find love as a single mother pushing forty. Her best, and probably only hope is her baby-daddy Roger who has the maturity level of his kid.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: I was beginning to think the second episode was going to enter into a sophomore episode slump after a fairly uneventful first half of the episode (consumption sex notwithstanding). But things really picked up in the second half. The séance scene was more disturbing than anything on The Walking Dead while the first Frankenstein Monster reintroducing itself to his father was just as creepy. Still the second episode felt more like an extension of the Pilot where we are introduced to two or three main characters. Now that we have met all the players, hopefully the show starts to pick up next week.

The Voice: I checked into the finale for a couple minutes and quickly realized that I wisely checked out somewhere between the first and second Battle Rounds. Somehow they found singers more boring and bland than last season’s final three in Christina and Jake. At least Josh won, though I not sure if he could have even sniffed the semi-finals in the first four seasons. This is usually where I make a long list of ways to fix the show, but I have only one right now: find better talent. I thought season four was pretty weak talent wise compared to the first three and the last two have gotten significantly worse talent wise. It is time to bring in more ringers. And good ones, not silly YouTube “superstars,” ones with actual talent and entertainment value.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Survivor: Cagayan: Sometime I just have to scratch my head at how some people vote. After three jury members attacked Tony for lying after swearing on his badge, wife and kid, and even his death father’s grave, I actually though Woo had a chance of winning, yet all three of those players ended up voting for Tony. I do not mind lying and cheating to advance in the game, but who gives a million dollars to someone who reigns on the memory of their dead father? What’s worse is that Tony did not even gain anything from voting for Trish. Ugg, so after such a promising premise, Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn, this season ended up being in the bottom five of the series.

Undoubtedly there will be an all-star edition of the format in the near future (they are already recycling Blood vs. Water), so here is my suggestion for the cast. I did fill the Beauty tribe with all hot chicks because I do not think anyone wants to know my thoughts on the subject. Plus, let’s be honest, the idea of a “beauty” tribe is that the members use their looks to advance and guys just do not do that. Look at this past season, two of the male beauties looked like they could have very well been on the Brawn tribe.

Brains
Ciera Eastin (Blood vs. Water)
Kim Spradlin (One World)
Sophie Clarke (South Pacific)
Rob Cesternino (Amazon)
Stephen Fishbach (Tocantins)
Todd Herzog (China)

Beauty
Parviti Shallow (Cooke Island)
Andrea Boehlke (Redemption Island)
Morgan McLeod (Cagayan)
Natalie Tenerelli (Redemption Island)
Chelsea Meissner (One World)
Mikayla Wingle (Phillippines)

Brawn
Kat Edorsson (One World)
Cliff Robinson (Cagayan)
Jeff Kent (Philippines)
James Clement (Blood vs. Water)
Stephenie LaGrossa (Palau)
Abi-Maria Gomes (Philippines)

You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: With teaser at the end of the first season finale it seemed obvious that Paige would learn of her parents other lives sometime this season. And with Larrick hot on their trail, it seemed likely that he would kidnap and she would learn that way. Oops, got that totally wrong. It turns out it was the other kid who learned of his parents extracurricular activities. And then killed his parents. Alrighty, that was a bit rushed. But it did set up would could be a fascinating third season where Paige has to find out about her parents… right?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I have to grown whenever a new cast is announce and Johnny Bananas is once again a part of the season. And I have done a lot of growing because this is his tenth Challenge (he, along with C.T. and Anessa have tied Paula for the most appearance; and since I was on the Wikipeia page, I was flabbergasted to see Cara Maria just tied Sarah for most consecutive Challenges ever with seven, who keeps asking her back). So it says a lot that for the first time ever I was actually rooting for Bananas in an elimination round. That shows you juts how much of a douche Jordan is. And really there are very few things more entertaining than Jordan calling his shot against Bananas and then lose. And not just lose, but fail epically, falling of the wall. Good riddance Jordan, here is hoping you do not reach Johnny’s record.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Well, frack, that is how you do a season finale. It may take me a couple days to fully compute what just happened.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Previewing Penny Dreadful

We are in the golden age of horror on television. Okay, honestly we are in the only age of horror on television. When there was only three networks, the genre was too niche for precious airtime. Even as cable channels popped up the genre was too violent for basic cable and beneath premium channels that could get away with it. But the 00’s were all about pushing the boundaries, sure you still cannot say the seven words that George Carlin warned you about (well, it may be down to five four decades later), or show certain body parts on network television, but everything else has become fair game.

Then the 10’s have become the nitchification of television, it was not about how many people watch, but how many passionate people watched. So we went from no horror shows on television to an overabundance. There are psychopathic serial killers like Hannibal, comic book gross out horror like The Walking Dead, and campy horror like American Horror Story. These shows can all be traced back to Dexter and with that show having its swan song last year, Showtime is ready to get back into the horror game it started with Penny Dreadful.

Penny Dreadful start two former next big things that never quite ever made it to that next level. Josh Hartnett was a heartthrob in waiting thanks to roles in The Faculty and The Virgin Suicides but starring roles in two high profiles duds in Pearl Harbor and 40 Days and 40 Nights has put him in relative obscurity ever since. Eva Green has also been teetering on the edge for a while but has not quite gotten over that hump after being cast as a Bond Girl. Ironically the cast is filled out with the guy on the bottom of everybody’s James Bond Power Rankings: Timothy Dalton.

Much like HBO’s signature serial killer show True Detective, Penny Dreadful takes place in the 90’s. Well, actually the latter takes place in the 1890’s Victorian England. And much like Grimm, there are two worlds, one were most people live normal lives unaware of the second world with literary monsters lurking in the shadows. But instead of fairytales come to life, the world of Penny Dreadful id filled with old horror stalwarts like vampires, Frankenstein’s monster, and Dorian Grey.

Dalton is drawn into this world when his daughter is kidnapped by an unknown monster and has sworn to get her back at any cost. At some point he recruits Green, a mysterious woman who seems to know more than she lets on and is haunted by her own demons which usually show up in the form of spiders (she because even more haunting in the second episode). The show starts up when they recruit Hartnett, a brash American showman who knows his way around a gun. I am also guessing it is not a coincidence that Jack the Ripper is striking terror in the hearts of Englishmen again just as he arrives.

When Showtime debuted Dexter, it was one of a kind, a serial killer with a heart of almost gold. A decade later, Penny Dreadful needs to find a niche. It has the literary monsters like Grimm but it seems like it is going with The Walking Dead type gore mixed with Hannibal’s quality writing. Of course unlike other shows of its ilk that are still confined by a standards and practices department, it can “go there” without any constraint. I am not sure anyone wanted to see Frankenstein’s Monster in all his glory, but Showtime allows them that ability. Though it is hard to out-gross The Walking Dead who creates a new way to kill a zombie almost week, there is a scene in each episode of Penny Dreadful that will rival those scenes.

Penny Dreadful airs Sundays at 10:00 on Showtime. Even if you do not have Showtime, check your cable provider because the premium channel is having a free preview weekend starting Friday where you can watch the season premiere of Penny Dreadful as well as the latest episodes of Nurse Jackie and Californication, the television premiere of Scary Movie 5, access to Showtime on Demand where you will have access to past episodes of multiple Showtime original shows and documentaries. But if you are not one of the 74 million households that will get the free preview (sorry Time Warner subscribers, it looks like once again, no Showtime free preview for you) you can watch an edited version of the premiere on Youtube.