Super Bowl Shuffle 2014

This year is the tenth anniversary of the infamous wardrobe malfunction which means thing could be ready to get frisky again. But alas, nothing exciting happened, the Red Hot Chili Peppers did not even come out in their signature socks. But that Super Bowl also was the start of an improbable run where the games were more entertaining than the Super Bowl with every game still undecided going into the fourth quarter. Awe, parity. That streak was broken this year when the Seahawks drummed the Broncos in a Super Bowl reminiscent of all the blow outs in the eighties and nineties. With the all around bad play and ugly orange jerseys, I thought maybe Denver was switched out with the Browns. Of course that may be the only way Cleveland could get to play in a Super Bowl. But hey, just like the old NFL ads said, everyone is undefeated today. Of course then the Browns will just pick another thirty year old quarterback in the draft in April. But anyway, here are some other thoughts on the big game.

- Wait, so Queen Latifah did not awkwardly marry people before Madonna came out of no where for no reason. Well that was a disappointing way to start the show.

- The Broncos had six captains? How is that even legal? I understand thre, one for each phase of the game, but at that point, just send out your whole team.

- Now that is how you start a Super Bowl. How much did safety on the first play pay off? Makes you wonder how different the game would have been if that first hand off came off without a hitch.

- Two really dumb challenges at the start of the game by both coaches. Not that it mattered.

- So what exactly what was that Seinfeld thing for? It was not an ad (that I understand). It was not NBC resurrecting their golden goose. Just an odd piece of nostalgia because the game took place in New York City.

- Bruno Mars really is the modern day James Brown. You know if James Brown wrote bland pop songs. But just a random transition to Give it Away. And then Bruno just had to run the momentum by finishing the set with the super boring Just the Way You Are.

- Micheal Strahan is not a very good interviewer, how about going with Erin Andrews for the biggest interview of the year?

- Enough football, here are the best commercials from this year's game:

1. The Phone Call: RadioShack Commercial


2. Big Game Ad Starring Terry Crews and the Muppets | 2014 Toyota Highlander
3. NFL draft with Deion Sanders (I cannot seem to find a link; this is almost a big a fail as Super Bowl Shuffle no longer being on YouTube)
4. Ian Up For Whatever TV 60 -- 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial | Bud Light
5. Jaguar 2014 Big Game Commercial | British Villains
6. Budweiser Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial -- "Puppy Love"
7. Ellen Features in "The Right Music" for Beats Music and AT&T
8. Ford "Nearly Double" Big Game Ad | Rob Riggle & James Franco
9. Wonderful Pistachios Stephen Colbert Super Bowl Commercial 2014, Part 2
10. Audi 2014 Big Game Commercial - Doberhuahua

And since the great philopher Butt-Head once pondered, how we know what was cool if there weren't stuff that sucked, here are the commercials that were complete waste of four million dollars.

1. Doritos® - Time Machine -- Crash the Super Bowl Top 5 Finalist
2. 2014 Volkswagen Game Day Commercial: Wings
3. Cool Twist-- 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial | Bud Light
4. Tim Tebow shows you what you can do with #nocontract |T-Mobile Commercial
5. Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt - The Spill

Best of the Week: 1/11/13

Quote of the Week: Hey Raylan, can I get you a (expletive deleted) or something? (Wade Messer, Justified)

Song of the Week: Ants Marching – Dave Matthews Band (Community)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Polar Vortex: At the beginning of the year there was Winter Storm Hercules and I sat there watching the Weather Channel thinking, come on, you just making stuff up now because people like naming hurricanes. If you really want to scare me, give it some weird scientific name. Then came the Polar Vortex. Like El Nino before it, ish got real. And by real, I mean real cold. And if -15, the lowest I saw here, was not bad enough, the wind chill at the time was -32. And of by tomorrow it is supposed to be 50 and raining. Mmm, I am beginning to think these climate change people are on to something.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Drowning Girl" Switched at Birth, Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Reflections – MisterWives (iTunes): For years, record labels have been holding the vast majority of their marquee albums until the fourth quarter to get those Christmas dollars so the first half of the year is usually left over hits from the previous year’s releases, new artists (Lorde dropped her Love Club EP in early March last year), or older acts who finally breakthrough with little competition (like Robin Thicke and Daft Punk). This week new band MisterWives released a very eighties inspired dance EP. Will they be the 2014 version of Lorde? But maybe Reflections could be a less annoying 2014 alternative to I Love It.

New Album Release of the Week: High Hopes - Bruce Springsteen

New DVD Release of the Week: Fruitvale Station

Video of the Week: Last weekend was the first weekend where I could just sit back, relax, and not worry that it would be ruined by a Brandon Weeden sighting. It looks like I will not have to worry about actually learning how to spell the Browns coach’s name because he got fired last week. But cheer up Browns fans, it looks like our next couch will come straight out of New England. No, Patriots Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniel has already pulled out of the running; nope the next coach of the Cleveland Browns is Denis Leary! Or at least he is the coach of the Browns in the upcoming Draft Day movie. Yep, twenty-five years after Major League, yet another Cleveland sports team is so bad, they need to be saved by Hollywood. As Bill Simmons would say: God hates Cleveland.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Suburgatory, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC: Two seasons ago, Suburgatory was not just my favorite new comedy of the season, it was my favorite comedy period. It went through some rough patches during its sophomore outing because they started focusing more on the adults when the children are the main attraction on the show. The season ended with Tess moving in with her mother, but I am guessing that will not last long because her mom got cast on another show this season. And do not ask me why the show did not return with ABC’s Wednesday comedy lineup last week. Instead there was a double dose of Super Fun Night which is inexplicably still on the air (though I understand why the network would want to burn that show of as soon as possible but its replacement is not scheduled to debut until late February).

The 14 Events That Will Make 2014 Awesome

2014 may be less than a week old, but in no way means it is too early to do a Best of 2014. Here are fourteen events that will hopefully keep us entertained over the next twelve months.

14. Detox – Dr. Dre: Let’s start off the list as I always do by suggesting this may very well be the year we get to hear Detox. Hey, maybe Dre will launch it with his Beats Music Service which is supposedly going live sometime this month as a rival to Spotify (YouTube’s music service is also due this month). But where Spotify is made by software engineers, Dre has teamed up with Trent Resnor and legendary record executive Jimmy Iovine. Though it will not be in use until a still unspecified date earily in 2014, grab your Beats Music username now.

13. The End of How I Met Your Mother: Okay, the show has not been great for a while (I would argue the show started going downhill right after Victoria left for Paris) and the last season has been as I expected considering it takes place over one weekend (and that is not very), but it is an end of an era when the show comes to a close after nine seasons this spring. Well that is until it is replaced with the rumored How I Met Your Father next fall.

12. Frank Miller on Screen: For the very small niche of Frank Miller fans who hate reading, 2014 will be a good year for them because two of his graphic novels will once again be given the big screen treatment. First up in March is 300: Rise of an Empire, a prequel to the original focusing on those evil Persians. Then in August Sin City a Dame to Kill For will get its long delayed release bringing back Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, and Josh Hartnett in four segment, two straight from the Frank Miller graphic novel and two original stories for the film.


11. World Cup: Real football fans rejoice, it is World Cup time and it is back in the Western Hemisphere for the first time in twenty year. Sure Brazil and soccer has been in the headlines recently because of referee beheadings, but that is juts minor considering the controversies surrounding the other major sporting event this year. There should be less refereeing complaining this time around because this will be the first World Cup with goal line technology. Also new this year: vanishing spray for referees to mark the ten year mark which disappears a minute after application. Oh technology, what will they think of next. The World Cup kicks off June 12 on ABC and ESPN, while America starts off June 16 against Ghana who has beaten the USA at the last two World Cups.

10. The Strain: I have been on a vampire moratorium since the series finale of Angel but it may be time to lift that because of The Strain. The show was created by Guillermo de Toro who knows a thing or two about creepy storytelling, just check out Pan’s Labyrinth for proof. Just like The Walking Dead, The Strain is based on a graphic novel but hopefully del Toro can avoid the pitfalls Frank Darabount did when he tried to adapt The Walking Dead. We do not have any footage of the series just yet (there is a viral marketing video featuring rats) but expect the show to debut sometime in July on FX.

9. Penny Dreadful: If that is not enough supernatural being for you, or fears that even basic cable will not be able to go there, there is Penny Dreadful which was picked up by Showtime. The show will weave together the origins of literary horror characters, such as Victor Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, Dorian Gray, and Count Dracula, as they grapple with their monstrous alienation in Victorian London. And the cast boasts Josh Hartnett, Eva Green, and Billie Piper while the show is executively produced by Sam Mendes director of the Daniel Craig era James Bond films. No premiere date other than “spring” but I am guessing it will be the week after the Shameless season finale, so sometime in early April.


8. Live Television: Whenever something is successful, expect more of it. Yeah The Sound of Music Live! Go panned, but it went head to head with ratings champ The Big Bang Theory. So expect more scripted live events this year. I was hoping NBC would do a live adaptation of A Christmas Carol but the network has already tasked the producers behind The Sound of Music revival to do another musical. The next beloved music would probably be West Side Story. Is Selena Gomez as Maria too obvious? Sure the internet will probably like that casting as much a Carrie Underwood but at least Selena can act (though she does not have as good a voice as Carrie). Then for Tony, let me suggest Jason Street. Then much like The Sound of Music Live! Fill out the rest of the cast with actual Broadway veterans. Well, and have Neil Patrick Harris and Bill Hader make a cameo as Lieutenant Schrank and Officer Krupke. Granted if I ran NBC (or any other network getting into the Live television game), I would throw all the money in my coffers at Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling to star in a live adaptation of Guys and Dolls in the rolls of Sister Sarah Brown and Sky Masterson.

7. More Marvel Movies: Marvel is going to dominate the movie theaters this year with sequels to Captain America (April 4), Spider-Man (May 2), and an X-Men (May 23) movie that bridges the 00’s trilogy and the most recent prequel. Oh yeah, and the studio is also launching a new property Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1) which features a gun toting raccoon and a talking tree. Meanwhile over at DC, there are no movies on the docket for this year, but…

6. DC on TV:.. by this time next year there could be as many as five DC comics based shows on television. Right now there is only Arrow on The CW based on Green Arrow but the show is developing a spin-off based on The Flash. And apparently The CW is beginning to realize that only targeting teen girls is a bad strategy because they have yet another funny book adaptation in development with Hourman, a pharmaceutical analyst who discovers that the visions that have plagued him since childhood are actually glimpses of tragic events occurring one hour in the future. Now if only the network would hire real actors instead of Ambrocrombie models and became a superhero only network (aside from a Veronica Mars reboot of course), it may become watchable. Meanwhile over on Fox they have already picked up Gotham to series based on James Gordon in a pre-Batman city (granted the last Batman-less Batman show Birds of Prey did not do very well). Then over at NBC, they are developing a show based on Constantine comic (last seen come to life in the Keanu Reeves movie). And this does not even include the long gestating Wonder Woman television show that almost made it to air a couple seasons ago on NBC and has long been in development as a origin story for The CW but never made it to the Pilot phase at the network.

5. New Music from U2: It seems like there has been a rumored U2 album coming soon ever since the release No Line on the Horizon was released back in 2009. Though those albums never materialized, the band wrapped up recording of their latest with Danger Mouse (who will have his album with Broken Bells out this year, and if you believe TMZ ambush interviews will be re-teaming with Cee-Lo Green for a new album in the new year) producing just prior to the holidays. And where Beyonce just airdropped her latest album out of nowhere, rumor has it U2 will go the completely opposite direction and will make their announcement for a new album during a Super Bowl commercial. Unless of course that commercial announces you can get the album starting at the end of the commercial on iTunes which may be the only way anyone could ever out-Beyoncé Beyoncé.

4. Untitled Cameron Crowe Project: Not much is known about the next Cameron Crowe (writer / director of Singles and Jerry McGuire) project but all I need to know is that it reunites Zombieland costars Emma Stone and Bill Murray. Throw in Rachel McAdams (who is due for a career resurgence) and you have a movie that you cannot miss.

3. Interstellar: Another movie shrouded in mystery. It supposedly has something to do with wormholes, but the recent teaser which was basically just Matthew McConaughey driving a beat up truck down a dirt road like he was in a country music video. But the movie comes from Christopher Nolan who messed with everyone’s heads on Inception and had fanboys everywhere geeking out with his Batman trilogy. Go ahead and mark November 7 on your calender now.


2. Winter Olympics: Curling enthusiast rejoice because the sport is coming back to television when the Olympic hit Sochi, Russia starting February 7. Sure no one watches any of these sports when not played under the Olympic flag besides hockey (though now that NBC has its own sports network, I do not see why they do not start airing curling league games). Still I will watch all that I am able to be it biathlon (Skiing! Shooting! All in one silly event) or luge. Sure there are some political aspects that could put a damper on the games be it Chechen terrorists or that Johnny Weir could be arrested right off the plane and shipped to Siberia just for being who he is.

1. Veronica Mars: Almost ten years after it debuted on television, Veronica Mars will hit the big screen March 14 with Neptune’s finest returning for a class reunion with all the major castmembers returning along with fan favorites like Vinnie Van Lowe, Amanda Sinclair, and Leo D’Amato making an appearance. Oh year, and the official trailer hit the internets recently, take a gander below.

Feed Your iPod LXXVIII: The Chase, Part II

This week twenty years ago saw the release of the debut album from Wu-Tang Clan, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), R.Kelly’s first solo outing 12 Play, and the best Tribe Called Quest album Midnight Marauders (if you thought that was a great release date, that was not even the most impressive week a Tribe album dropped; The Low End Theory was released on the same day as Nevermind, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, and the first CD I ever bought, Bryan Adam’s Waking Up the Neighbours). Even the casual rap fan knows Award Tour (which was number four on my list of the 100 Greatest Songs from the Golden Age of Hip-Hop) as well as Electric Relaxation, so let me highlight another song from the album, which was actually the bane of my existence shortly after hearing it.

Stuck near the end of the album is The Chase, Part II, another slow head nodder which features Phife Dog rapping, “you’re styles are incomplete same as Vinnie Testeverde.” For the youngsters out there, as the lyric suggest Vinnie was a horrible quarterback who was always near the top of the league in interceptions and holds the record for most loses for a starting quarterback in NFL history. Of course the Cleveland Browns just signed him when the album was released and the team then turned around and traded beloved local hero Bernie Kosar (who would go on to win a Super Bowl ring that season). After the Browns signed Vinnie, they became so bad that the owner was able to move the team and the Browns have made the playoff twice since the song was released and only had three winning seasons. As Bill Simmons would say, “God hates Cleveland.”

The Chase, Part II – A Tribe Called Quest

Best of the Week: 11/9/13

Quote of the Week: Saul, you don’t look like a man who landed the biggest asset of his career. (Majid Javadi, Homeland)

Song of the Week: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) – The Proclaimers (How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Bullying in the NFL: Back when I played sports, hazing was an accepted practice, but we now live in a “It gets better world” (even though it does not, but that is a rant for another day) and apparently hazing is not even acceptable in the most “manly” of institutions the NFL. Sure what Richie Incognito said was horrible, but no worse than what is shouted at players every Sunday. That is not to say Incognito should not be cut (considering his rap sheet, no one should have signed him in the first place), but it is weird to continually hear about bullying in the NFL.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Huang Wu” Sons of Anarchy, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: The Triple Threat – The Hush Sound (NoiseTrade): I am a bit surprised that The Hush Sound did not hit that wave of indie pop from the middle of last decade, Wine Red was ultra catchy and could have easily been the soundtrack to one of the silhouette iPod commercials. But the group recently got back together and has a sampler of their new work which sound more mature than their earlier songs.

Deal of the Week: Blu-Ray Under $10: Home Alone Collection, Zombieland, Inception, Gremlins 2: The New Batch

New Album Release of the Week: November - Grace and Tony

New DVD Release of the Week: Dexter: The Complete Final Season

Video of the Week: The new TBS comedy Ground Floor premieres Thursday but you can actually watch it now over at tbs.com. If you are not sure if you want to send the next twenty-minutes watching the whole thing, check out this short clip first.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Killing Kennedy, Sunday at 8:00 on National Geographic Channel: After the success of Killing Lincoln, it was only a matter of time before Bill-O’Reilly’s other books get their own movie. And just in time for the fifth anniversary of his assassination is Killing Lincoln with Rob Lowe in the titular role and Ginnifer Goodwin and Jackie O.

Best of the Week: 11/2/13

Quote of the Week: I would switch because I’m afraid I won’t do well in this duel because it’s a puzzle and I can’t even spell. But I would switch. (Kat Edorsson, Survivor: Blood vs. Water)

Song of the Week: Ghostbusters – Ray Parker Jr. (The Goldbergs)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Red Sox Win Another World Series: For the third time in a decade the Boston Red Sox with the face of the steroids scandal from their city winning the MVP. Wake me up when the asterisk era is finally over in Major League Baseball.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“John 8:32” Sons of Anarchy, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: 24 Hours – Sky Ferrera (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5 Each: This month’s discounted albums include Johnny Cash, A Tribe Called Quest, Mazzy Star, and Passenger.


New Album Release of the Week: The Marshall Mathers LP2 - Eminem

New DVD Release of the Week: Mad Men: Season Six

Video of the Week: Sad day Wednesday when Kat was booted from Survivor. Sure I was prepared for it all week considering most of the Redemption challenges have been puzzles, and Kat cannot even spell let alone do a puzzle. It is a shame she did not make the merge to at the very least be part of the Jury because when she was voted out of One World was the single greatest Ponderosa episode ever in the history of the show. We did get Kat on the After Show and since it was Halloween, both Kat and host Parvoti Shallow dressed up like kats. Can they just make Kat the permanent co-host?


Next Week Pick of the Week: Once Upon a Time, Sunday at 8:00 on ABC: Considering mermaids showed up in the season premiere, it was only a matter of time before The Little Mermaid showed up (apparently I was wrong thinking that the mermaid they captured in the premiere was Ariel). But goodness the preview for next week looks bad, especially the poor Ursula CGI. At least it cannot be as boring as this week’s Captain Hook centric episode.

Best of the Week: 10/26/13

Quote of the Week: Our relationship is just starting and now I've, like, embarrassed all his friends. Who wants to date someone that doesn’t make the merge? (Kat Edorsson, Survivor: Blood vs. Water)

Song of the Week: This Town – Deacon Claybourne and Scarlett O’Conner (Nashville)

Scene of the Week:


And yes you can download If I Didn't Have You (Bernadette's Song) on iTunes

Big News of the Week: It’s the Start of the Jason Campbell Era in Cleveland: You want to know just how much it sucks to live in Cleveland, I actually got excited when I heard the Browns were benching Brandon Weeden after throwing two underhanded throws in consecutive weeks (in Weeden’s defense, only one of them was intercepted). Keep in mind Campbell will be the twentieth starting quarterback since the Browns returned in 1999.  That is two ahead of the Dolphins, the second most over that time period.  The league average is 11.3.  As Bill Simmons would say, God hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Death and the Maiden” Ravenswood, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Speak a Little Louder – Diane Birch (NoiseTrade): Earlier this week I reviewed Diane Birch’s latest album (see Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition) and if you want to get sense of the album you can download this three song sampler which also includes a fourth song, Nothing but a Miracle off her debut album.

New Album Release of the Week: Under the Influence: Holiday Edition - Straight No Chaser

New DVD Release of the Week: Springsteen & I

Video of the Week: Just in time for the next Thor to be released into theaters, the new Captain America trailer is out and Winter Soldier features some familiar faces (Nick Fury, Black Widow), some new ones (Robert Redford as one of the senior leaders of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Anthony Mackie as Falcon, a guy who can fly and talk to birds) and some dude with a mask (anyone who has read Winter Soldier knows who it is; or just anyone who recognizes him). Conspicuously absent is Emily Van Camp as another S.H.I.E.L.D. agent (she is not playing Kristen from statistics) or anyone from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. which probably did not even start casting by the time Winter Soldier wrapped shooting (though maybe Steve Rodgers may show up on the television show in the future to promote their movies, or even better, Natalie Portman; but the best bet is Emily Van Camp, who is already on ABC television, will pop up in a cameo eventual). Captain America: Winter Soldier hits theaters in April which is around the time we will probably get our first trailer for Guardians of the Galaxies which will feature Vin Diesel as a tree and Bradley Cooper as a raccoon.


Next Week Pick of the Week: American Blackout, Sunday at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel: It does seem like our power grid going down is not a question of if rather a question of when (remember when some downed trees took out the eastern seaboard all the way to Canada and Ohio a decade ago; it is as east to shut down the western seaboard and Texas). The National Geographic Channel takes a look at what very well might happen with cell phone footage to add to the realism. Check out my full preview of American Blackout here.

Best of the Week: 8/5/13

Quote of the Week: What is it you’re smoking Ms. Masterson? (Senator Andrew Lockhart, Homeland)

Song of the Week: Gonna Get Even – Layla Grant (Nashville)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Believeland: Forget the government shutdown, there is bigger news this week: the Cleveland Browns are alone in first place for the first time in maybe two decades!!! Things looks grim here in Cleveland after the Browns traded away their top three pick from just last year (which also cost them another late round pick to boot) for what will probably be a draft pick in the teens next year signifying the sixth rebuilding year of the past fourteen seasons. Except after they traded Trent Richardson, the won two straight games to earn them a tie in the AFC Central and with a Thursday Night Football game could get them a sole place at the top with a win.

But this is Cleveland and nothing is easy. Brain Hoyer, who looked competent in his first two starts, made the most awkward looking slide ever in the first quarter which landed him a torn ACL and out for the season. So back in was Brandon Weeden, the sophomore quarterback who turns thirty later this year. Yep God hates Cleveland. Except the Buffalo quarterback got injured himself, and the Bill backup managed to be worse than Brandon completing only around five passes, and one of those was to cornerback TJ Ward, cliching the Browns win. So seriously President Obama and House Republicans, if the Cleveland Browns can be in first place during the fifth week of the season, you can hammer out a way to get the government up and running again.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Heavy Petting" The League, Wednesday at 10:30 on FXX

Free Download of the Week: Ribs – Lorde (iTunes): Get the fifth best song off of Pure Heroine for free. But really, just buy the whole album. You can read why in my review: I'm Kinda of Over Being Told to Throw My Hands in the Air.

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This months discounted album on Amazon MP3 include Greatest Hits packages from Tom Petty, Boyz II Men, Bruce Springsteen, and DMX.


New Album Release of the Week: Mountains of Sorrow, Rivers of Song - Amos Lee

New DVD Release of the Week: Lifeguard

Video of the Week: When I think of great reality moments, I always go back to the time CT wore Johnny Bananas as a backpack on The Challenge. This week’s Immunity Challenge on Survivor may make the list. Sure we have seen this exact challenge before on the show, the sumo pillow fight over the water or mud, but this is the first time we have seen it with relatives going against each other. There we only three same sex loved ones left on the show but they all went up against each other (I am glad Colton quit earlier in the episode, but I would have loved to see him go against Caleb, or even better NFL lineman Brad, in this). First up you have Vytas cheap shot his brother Aras and still lose, and then you had two mothers beat their daughters half their age. Laura beating Ciera was a bit understandable, Ciera is so small got knocked off the platform when Kat just sneezed on her, but Katie has over twenty-five years on her mother, a couple inches, and a quite few pounds on her mother and still lost. This was really the first time I did not hate the Blood vs. Water theme. For reference, to skip the less interesting undercard, the Ciera vs. Kat battle start at 3:00.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Once Upon a Time: Wonderland, Thursday at 8:00 on Thursday on ABC: The Once Upon a Time spin-off was originally conceived as a filler show for when the main show went on winter hiatus, but the people at ABC liked it so much that they gave it a full order and a spot on its fall lineup, one that is not even on the same night as the original show. Of course it did not like it enough to give it a better spot on it schedule than Thursdays at 8:00 where the network has failed to launch a new drama since Ugly Betty moved out of the spot in 2009. And the promos make me wonder what exactly what the execs saw because the CGI heavy sets do not look very good and instead of a Once Upon a Time spin-off, it looks like a television adaptation of Sucker Punch (which was conceived as Alice in Wonderland with guns but panned by critics).

Best of the Week: 9/21/13

Quote of the Week: Contrary to popular belief, no money mo problems. (Larry Bird, The Neighbors)

Song of the Week: Push the Sky Away – Nick Cave and the Bad Seed (The Bridge)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: God Still Hates Cleveland: It has not been a good year for Browns fans, last season the former Browns won their second Super Bowl (which in one more than the number of Browns playoff appearances in that time) and went through yet another regime change. And then they started off with two straight losses where the AARP member sophomore quarterback Brandon Weeden hurt his thumb. Word came down Wednesday that Weeden would not be starting Sunday but instead of second string and former semi-successful starting quarterback Jason Campbell starting in his place, some dude named Brian Hoyer, who is on his fourth team in the past year, would start. You would think this would be the worst news coming out of Cleveland this week, but nope, as Bill Simmons would say, “God Hates Cleveland” and that was not even the worst news that day.

A couple hours later I was scrolling through my feed reader and saw “Trent Richardson traded to Indy for First Round Draft Pick”. At first I thought I accidentally subscribed to the least funny The Onion sports rip-off site, but no, this was no joke, the Browns traded away their top four pick from just last season (which also cost them a second rounder because they moved up to get him) and arguably their best offensive threat for a pick that, best case scenario (barring an Andrew Luck injury) will be in the teens, worst case scenario in the twenties. So welcome to Cleveland rebuilding 8.1. Yep, God Hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"And the Soft Opening" 2 Broke Girls, Monday at 9:30 on CBS

Free Download of the Week: Pillow Talk – Wild Child (Noise Trade)

New Album Release of the Week: Mechanical Bull - Kings of Leon

New DVD Release of the Week: Hannibal: Season One

Video of the Week: The most anticipated show of the fall does not premiere until next Sunday, but those that cannot wait, you can watch the premiere of Master of Sex now on YouTube. Sure, Showtime edits out all the mature content from there previews so if you already subscribe, you probably want to wait the week to see the unedited episode. But if you do not subscribe, and want to check it out to see if it is worth subscribing to the premium channel (between this and the third season of Homeland, the answer is a resounding yes), you will just have to imagine the actual sex while watching. Please note embedding has been disabled so you have to head over YouTube to watch.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC: Almost everything premieres next week but there is one show that stand out above all the new, and even the returning shows: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (after just writing the show out two times around, I am beginning to think I may soon just shorten it to SHIELD in the very near future). This is the first television show created by Joss Weadon since Dollhouse and firs since he directed the blockbuster The Avengers. But the thing is, the show will either end up being the biggest show on television by the end of the year or quite possibly the biggest bust ever. It is also a bit weird that there are no reviews yet because it seems like ABC did not send out many screeners for the show. Not screening something for critics is rarely a good sign which leads me to believe that the at least the Pilot is mediocre at best and ABC did not want tepid review to hurt the show and is content that name recognition will pull in more than enough viewers.

Best of the Week: 8/3/13

Quote of the Week: Who the (expletive deleted) are you Ray? (Abby Donovan, Ray Donovan)

Song of the Week: Bad Things – Meiko (Pretty Little Liars)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: If You Use the N-Word at a Kenny Chesney Concert, You May Be a Redneck: Last week, I have never heard the name Riley Cooper, but the guy ended up leading Pardon the Interruption three straight days this week (and may continue into next week) after using the derogatory term at security guard at a country concert. But to Cooper’s credit, he quickly apologized and took full responsibility for his drunken stupidity (unlike other racists this summer). But how does the NFL not give the guy an obligatory one game suspension? Hopefully the “sizable fine” he received was at least one game check.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“There’s No Place Like Home” guest starring Tim Conway, Paul Dooley, Ron Glass, Marion Ross, and Doris Roberts, Major Crimes, Monday at 9:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Best Day Ever – Bob Schneider (NoiseTrade)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5 Each: This month’s discounted albums include greatest hits from U2, The Beastie Boys, James Brown, and Tears for Fears.


New Album Release of the Week: The Civil Wars - The Civil Wars

New DVD Release of the Week: Community: The Complete Fourth Season

Video of the Week: Bad Milo is a movie which features Ken Marino with a killer tumor that comes out of his butt. Why is this movie not out now? Please not below is the red band trailer, so you may want to avoid watching it at work, around your family, are around anyone without a sense of humor.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Falling Skies, Sunday at 10:00 on TNT: It seems like the third season of Falling Skies just started up, but here we are at the finale already (will the fall season just next month, I guess all the summer shows will be winding down soon). This season was all about spies and double cross with two (and maybe more) humans with bugs controlling them and we still not know what the Volm are really up to (but the promo monkeys would have us believe they are up to something). Hopefully the show can come up with another finale like last season that saw the introduction of the Volm.

Best of the Week: 6/22/13

Quote of the Week: My father never gave me anything. (Sally Draper, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: Cat's In the Cradle - Harry Chapin (as sung by W. Kamau Bell, Totally Biased)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: God Still Hates Cleveland: People just do not understand how horrible it is to live in Cleveland. Like more Midwest areas, the winters suck massively, but at least cities like Detroit, Chicago, even Green Bay can pull on the covers and root for a championship team. Here in Cleveland we has so many failures, we name them: The Fumble, The Drive, The Shot, The Blown-Save, The Decision. They all hurt, but that last one just hurt the soul because LeBron James was one us, he knew are pain, and instead of breaking the curse, he just added to it. And his championship was just a dagger to heart. Last year’s championship could be explained away because it was a strike shortened season and not truly legit. But he came back this season and won it without any asterisks. And they the won was almost Bill Bucknerian. The Spurs had a commanding lead and up three with seconds in game six (much like Buckner) when LeBron put up a horrible desperation three except the show was so bad to took a weird trajectory off the rim, bouncing right out to Ray Allen, someone who is actually older than me and not known for his rebounding prowess, who took a couple steps back and drained the game tying three. So instead of being the goat for putting up one of the most laughable late game threes ever to the delight of everyone in Cleveland, LeBron and the Heat then goes on to win the game and later the series. As Bill Simmons would say: God hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Ch-Ch-Changes" Perception Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: The Bag or the Bat - Ray Donovan (iTunes): The new Showtime show does not premiere until next week, but if you want to check it out ahead of time or want to see if it is worth subscribing to Showtime for, you can download the first episode on iTunes. If you do not want to waste the hard drive space, you can also watch it via YouTube below. And for those that would rather watch it on your television, check out your On Demand channel.


Deal of the Week: The Big DVD & Blu-ray Blowout: Game of Thrones, The Dark Knight Trilogy, The Big Bang Theory

New Album Release of the Week: Vh1 Storytellers - Alicia Keys

New DVD Release of the Week: Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids: The Complete Series

Video of the Week: I have never been the biggest Jay-Z fan out there, sure he made plenty of hot singles in his two decades, but the only album of his I own is the one he did with Kanye West. With that said, I am already extremely excited for his next one just because of the album announcement he made during the NBC Finals last week (it was too late to updated my list of The 5 Most Anticipated Albums of Summer 2013, but it would have been number two on that list had I did; John Mayer, who made a release date this week too also would have grabbed a slot) which featured uber-producers who have been responsible for some of Jay’s greatest beats including Rick Rubin (99 Problems), Pharrell (I Just Wanna Love U), Swizz Beatz (On to the Next One), and Timbaland (Big Pimpin’). Thankfully DJ Premier and Dr. Dre were not involved otherwise my head could have very well exploded. Magna Carta Holy Grail drops July 4 (or three days earlier if you have some sort of app on a smartphone I refuse to promote because they are not paying me). Happy birthday America.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Under the Dome, Monday at 10:00: When everyone else is scrambling to pull in eyeballs in the summer, CBS just throws on three nights of Big Brother and a bunch repeats and sips mai tai’s until it is Fall. Not only is CBS actually putting on a new scripted show this summer it is quite ambitious and off brand from its usual crime procedurals it usually airs during the season. Base on the novel by Stephen King, Under the Dome follows the residents of a small town cut off from the rest of the world by a mysterious dome. Color me intrigued.

Best of the Week: 4/20/13

Quote of the Week: Ms. Lounds, it’s not very smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living. (Will Graham, Hannibal)

Song of the Week: Rough Boys - Pete Townsend (The Americans)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: MTV Movie Awards: You are officially old when you opt for watching Mad Men instead of an MTV awards show. But being a completist (I have seen them all) I ended up watch the awards later. As I write this a week later, I actually cannot remember anything that happened. Either it was really uneventful or I really am getting old.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Vikings "Sacrifice" Sunday at 10:00 on History

Free Download of the Week: Wildest Moments – Jessica Ware (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums foe $5 April’s $5 albums include The Black Keys, The Avett Brothers, Jason Mraz, and Death Cab for Cutie.


New Album Release of the Week: Bankrupt - Phoenix

New DVD Release of the Week: Gangster Squad

Video of the Week: I have no desire ever to go to a music festival, hanging out in a sea of people on a campground for a weekend in extreme heat sounds like the worst thing ever. But had you told me that R. Kelly would join Phoenix during their set at Cochella last week to perform a mash up of Ignition (Remix) and 1901, I definitely would had spent all my money to fly out to the California desert to see that happen. Thankfully the performance got uploaded to YouTube so I can enjoy it alone in the comfort of my climate controlled study.


Next Week Pick of the Week: NFL Draft, Thursday at 8:00; Friday at 6:30 and Saturday at Noon, ESPN: It is the greatest time of the year again for us Browns fans. In a time of unparalleled parity, we have only been to the playoffs once in twenty year. And now we are in year one of yet another new regime (with another that may come soon considering our new owner just got raided by the FBI and IRS earlier this week and a legal analyst Lester Munson said: “I think that's in the realm of possibility” when asked if new owner Jimmy Halsem could lose the team in the near future) so really all we have is the draft which is filled with home, dreams and optimism… right up until the point where were trade up just to draft a thirty year old quarterback who turned out to be worse than the younger one we already had. I am really beginning to believe Bill Simmons is right when he says God hates Cleveland.

Best of the Week - 2/9/13

Quote of the Week: You're talking about no sense of humor. This is funny. I know I'm laughing. (Raylan Givens, Justified)

Song of the Week: P.S. I Love You – Robin Sparkles Daggers (How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: The Super Bowl: As a former referee, I tend to err on the side of officials whenever there is a questionable call, we are all human and we are going to make a mistake or ten even at the highest levels. I do get a bit suspicious whenever the officiating is severely lopsided like it was with this year’s Super Bowl, the second most lopsided championship game I have ever witnessed (sorry Seahawks fans, you are still number one on the losing side of that). The most notable (no) call was the final play when there was clear pass interference that ended the 49’ers chance to tie the game. Add that to plays like the 2-point conversion when Ed Reed obviously crossed the line before the ball was snapped, which is only more glaring when the 49’ers got called doing the exact same thing during Baltimore’s next offensive series. Then there was also the time when, instead of a personal foul for running into the kicker, that would have given the 49’ers a drive extending first down, it was ruled incidental five yard penalty which only resulted in a re-kick. But the most jaw dropping moment was when a Baltimore Raven actually shoved a referee in the first half of the game. Not only did the guy not get thrown out, like he should have, he did not even get flagged on the play. What is worse the league have not even given the guy any sort of admonishment after the game. There is no way any player should get away with putting their hands on a referee. So the fix was clearly in, but the question is why. I have two working theories; 1) The NFL did not want the 49’ers to win so everyone would blame the blackout on the Ravens losing the biggest lead in Super Bowl history, or 2) the refs have a massive stake in deer antler stock.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Switched at Birth "Human/Need/Desire" Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Same as Blood – Lee Koch (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Authentic Hip Hop - LL Cool J

New DVD Release of the Week: Weeds: Season Eight

Video of the Week: Enough of the shame of a football game, lets talk about commercials. Again the big loser again was Doritos who for some reason wants to flush millions of dollars down the drain on the dumbest ads of the year. But they were edge out on the single worst ad by the uncomfortable Go Daddy commercial. As for the winners, only two come to mind a week later, M&M’s singing Meat Loaf just losing out to the Budweiser Clydesdale advertisement.



Next Week Pick of the Week: 2013 Grammy Awards, Sunday at 8:00 on CBS: I am not happy that other channels are counterprogramming the Grammy’s tomorrow as there are new episodes of Once Upon a Time, Revenge, and the return of The Walking Dead. But the Grammy’s are a priority as for the very first time that I can remember, I fully endorse all the nominees in the Album of the Year category. Plus there will be performances by Fun., Frank Ocean, The Lumineers, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Jack White and collaborations featuring The Black Keys with Dr. John, Elton John and Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5 and Alicia Keys, Bruno Mars with Rihanna and Sting, as well as a tribute to Levon Helm featuring Mumford & Sons, Zac Brown Band, Elton John, and T Bone Burnett.

Best of the Week - 2/2/13

Quote of the Week: I am just here to look my enemy in the eye and since your daddy is two feet shorter than I am, I guess you’ll have to do. (J.R. Ewing, Dallas)

Song of the Week: In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (The Americans)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Deer Antlers Are the New Cow Steroids: It is clear that athletes will do anything to get ahead. A week after Lance Armstrong admitted that he was doping during all of his Tour de France championships, possible double murderer Ray Lewis (just ask Wes Welker’s wife) was accused of injecting himself with deer antlers which apparently are the fastest growing animal part in the world. Despite denying it, it seems plausible because, well, all athletes clearly cheat now a days, there is no way to test for deer antler juice, and Lewis got back from an arm injury a couple months ahead of schedule. So for those unsure of who to root for this Sunday, you probably should not root for the murdering cheaters.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Morning Mornings premieres Monday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: One – U2 (Google Play)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month’s five dollar album deals include Prince, R.E.M., Jewel, and Ctpress Hill:


New Album Release of the Week: Smokey Mary - Harry Connick Jr.

New DVD Release of the Week: Peter Pan (Two-Disc Diamond Edition Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging)

Video of the Week: Last year History broke records with their Hatfields & McCoys miniseries and in a month from now (3/3/13) they look to keep that momentum going with their next dramatization of historical events with the nine episode scripted series Vikings starring Gabriel Byrne and Jessalyn Gilsig. Check out the latest promo below:


Next Week Pick of the Week: Community, Thursday at 8:00 on NBC: NBC seems to be cleaning house in the comedy department this year canceling The Office, 30 Rock, switching Up All Night to being filmed in front of a studio audience and the green lighting broader comedies like Go On and The New Normal. So canning its creator, being relegated to Fridays before getting an early February premiere date, it may be safe to assume that Community will not be featuring fifth year seniors next season. Chevy Chase has even already folded up shop a couple episodes early. So enjoy these last thirteen episodes before the show likely joins 30 Rock and The Office in the Peacock dustbin. Hopefully Alison Brie will have already have a new show or two lined up for next fall by then because with no more Community and Pete Campbell getting an apartment in the city, I fear there may not be much Alison Brie on my television come 2014.